Videogum

You Guys Want To Have Sex With A Cheeseburger?

By Gabe Delahaye / February 27, 2012 - 5:30 pm

The big news that everyone’s talking about today, besides Hugo‘s sweep of the Sound Mixing AND Sound Editing categories is the new Carl’s Jr. commercial for some kind of cheeseburger featuring Kate Upton, whoever that is, fucking her own face with the hamburger. It premiered during the Oscars last night and America loves it. (“Hey, let’s get a couple of these sex burgers and watch the premiere of You Cant Trust The B In That Apartment!” – America) Did you know Kate Upton is an equestrian and her uncle is a congressman? Do you care? Can you even hear what I’m talking about with all of that sex and burger meat in your eyes? Of course, this ad is basically a rehash of the old Paris Hilton Carl’s Jr. ad that Americans fell in love with back in the ’90s. But it’s fun to do that again. It was so great the first time. I think it’s ironic because we don’t treat women this way anymore, right? Because of Bridesmaids? Is that why it’s ironic? Or is it ironic because the last thing I am really interested in after watching this commercial is eating a cheeseburger. No offense, cheeseburger. You look great. Have you been working out? That is me asking the cheeseburger if it’s been working out. This is a good blog. Why is she fucking the cheeseburger at a Drive-In Movie Theater, though? And I have a follow-up question: where is there a Drive-In Movie Theater? Let’s watch this ad again (and again and again, am I right, fellas? Who doesn’t love this ad?!) and then I have a question to ask you:

Here’s my question:

[poll id=”62″]

It will be exciting to see how this poll turns out. I believe it is as scientifically valid as the poll today that said Rick Santorum would beat Barack Obama in a general election. Good poll. Sounds real. Sex burgers.