Hooray, the 2012 Academy Awards! All of our life’s work culminating in this one moment! The most beautiful night in the whole world! A chance for the stars to really SHINE! “WHO ARE YOU WEARING?” -@gabe. YUCK YUCK YUCK! I hate to seem too pessimistic about this year’s Academy Awards, because I DO think we’re all going to have a wonderful time together tonight watching Doug Hughs collect his Lifetime Achievement Award, but do you guys remember who’s hosting this year? I only remembered this morning, and it was honestly a pretty disappointing moment. BILLY CRYSTAL IS HOSTING! Billy “Academy Awards” Crystal is hosting the 2012 Oscars. That sounds like a not very good joke that a standup comedian would’ve made in 2004 when he or she was explaining the dystopian nightmare of 2012. (No disrespect to national treasure Mr. Crystal.) And yet here we are! Are your h’orderves ready? Champagne chilled? Gold glitter placed all over your face and arms? Perfect! Chat with us here throughout the ceremony, and follow us on Twitter, and us and us and us, and LET THE ACADEMY AWARDS BEGIN!