Gabe: hey kelly
Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: how’s it going?
Kelly: Oh, fine. No complaints, how’s it going with you?
Gabe: i’m doing good, thanks
Kelly: That’s great.
Gabe: ok, great talking to you
Gabe: nice catching up!
Kelly: No, hold on a sec
Kelly: So I read that thing you wrote yesterday about how everyone is terrible
Kelly: And it was great, good job
Kelly: But one thing you failed to mention
Kelly: Was how GREAT it is to see Chris Eigeman again!
Gabe: kelly, what’s going on?
Gabe: are you OK?
Kelly: Oh yeah I’m fine
Gabe: it just seems weird that you’re still talking about the Girls trailer
Gabe: when BAM MARGERA HAS BEEN ARRESTED
Kelly:: Oh EXCUSE ME
Kelly:: Egg on my face
Kelly:: I forgot that it was A DAY
Gabe: i’m not trying to embarrass you
Gabe: i’m just confused
it feels like you’re avoiding the subject
Gabe: “oh hahaha, let’s talk about the Girls trailer because I’m sure Bam Margera is fine”
Gabe: well guess what
Gabe: he’s not fine
Kelly:: I’m sure he’s fine.
Gabe: HE’S BEEN ARRESTED AT MARDI GRAS
Gabe: FOR SWIMMING IN HIS CLOTHES
Kelly:: That’s a super sad story and I’d love to hear it again sometime, but did you forget about how excited you were
Kelly: When you saw a brief glimpse
Kelly: Of CHRIS EIGEMAN?
Kelly: IN THE GIRLS TRAILER?
Gabe: that was pretty exciting
Gabe: but it’s hard to hold onto that rush
Gabe: when your world is crumbling around you
Gabe: because you’re SICK to your STOMACH
Gabe: worrying about BAM
Kelly: Well I’d rather not worry about Bam until we have all the facts, it’s a waste of time to worry about someone when you have all the facts
Kelly: And speaking of having all the facts
Kelly: It was exciting when the FULL LENGTH Girls trailer came out yesterday, because I was excited about it since I saw the not full length trailer
Kelly: But to be honest
Kelly: I’m not entirely sure WHY I was?
Kelly: Other than that it is a show that is for exactly me
Gabe: that seems like the answer?
Gabe: it seems like you know exactly why
Kelly: Chris Eigeman
Kelly: Well I kind of liked Tiny Furniture
Kelly: But the thing I don’t really like about it, and movies like it, is how we’re all supposed to be so impressed with these peoples personalities
Kelly: that we’re ok that it’s boring
Kelly: Which is certainly not something that I am familiar with AT ALL.
Kelly: But anyway
Kelly: Girls, like you were saying yesterday
Kelly: Seems like we’re supposed to be so impressed with these peoples personalities, but all of them have bad personalities?
Kelly: Really I’m still confused about it, and I’m STILL going to watch it.
Kelly: You say something about it now
Gabe: i said a lot about it
Gabe: before i knew
Gabe: that Bam Margera
Gabe: was ROTTING IN PRISON
Kelly: oh my goodness.
Gabe: FREE BAM! FREE BAM! FREE BAM!
Kelly: I did like seeing all of our old Tiny Furniture pals again.
Gabe: “Your honor, Kelly doesn’t know whether or not she’s going to like some TV show.”
Gabe: “So please let Bam go.”
Gabe: how does Girls make you feel, as a woman?
Gabe: is Leah Dunham the voice of your generation
Gabe: the way that Bam Margera is the voice of my generation?
Kelly: She’s SOME voice of A generation lol
Gabe: when you watch that trailer
Gabe: do you just see a reflection
Gabe: of your own experience as a young woman in New York City
Gabe: the same way that when I watch Bam Margera
Gabe: put an alligator in Phil and April’s bed
Gabe: in the middle ofthe night
Gabe: i see a reflection of my life as an old man in suburban Pennsylvania
Kelly: Well, NO!
Kelly: It doesn’t seem very realistic
Kelly: Even though it seems like it really thinks it’s super realistic
Kelly: Which makes me UPSET
Gabe: you want to get real?
Gabe: then let me take you down to the prison
Gabe: where a true artist
Gabe: has been LOCKED UP
Gabe: for SWIMMING WITH HIS CLOTHES ON
Kelly: UGH GABE THIS IS SERIOUS
Gabe: it’s like, are we still in America?
Kelly: Did you hear the part when I said I wasn’t sure why I was looking forward to seeing it, when I couldn’t really put my finger on why?
Kelly: GET WITH IT
Kelly: BACK ON TRACK
Kelly: GIRLS TRAILER FROM YESTERDAY
Kelly: Like I feel like
Kelly: you know
Gabe: you feel caged in?
Kelly: I hate to sound like someone opposed to occupy wall street
Kelly: But like hey Lena Dunham
Kelly: GET A JOB?
Kelly: Then you’ll have enough money for lunch every day
Gabe: well, she has a job
Gabe: making a show about not having a job
Kelly: I meant character lena dunham, gabe
Gabe: here’s a job for you: making license plates and breaking rocks
Gabe: this is just the kind of hardship that an American Patriot
Gabe: Bam Margera
Gabe: is suffering in prison
Gabe: while you sit on your high horse
Gabe: nit-picking the trailer for a TV show about children
Kelly: I am a child
Gabe: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?
Kelly: We’re not all A MILLION YEARS OLD
Gabe: WELL MAYBE WE SHOULD BE
Gabe: then we would all understand
Gabe: the injustice in the world
Gabe: where a man like Bam Margera is sentenced to life in prison for swimming with his clothes on at Mardi Gras
Gabe: while you try and figure out why you are going to watch a show that your’e definitely going to watch
Gabe: “Yes, but why?”
Gabe: -Kelly Conaboy
Gabe: “I’m in fucking jail.”
Gabe: -Bam Margera
Kelly: Ugh I guess you’re right, I’m sorry.
Gabe: “I’m not talking to my friends from pre-school.”
Gabe: -Lena Dunham
Kelly: That show makes me so mad I can’t wait to watch every episode.
Gabe: you’re just mad
Gabe: because you see so much of yourself in that show
Gabe: the way that i am so mad
Gabe: that Bam Margera has been arrested
Kelly: I AM NOT.
Gabe: “Le Girls, C’est Moi” – Kelly Conaboy
Gabe: “Je suis prison!” – Bam Margera
Kelly: “I’M BARF” – Gabe
Gabe: first they came for Bam Margera and Kelly did nothing