Guys, are you unsure about what to get your significant others for Valentine’s Day? It’s next week. Tuesday, February 14. It’s the same date every year. You seriously didn’t know when it was? You haven’t even made a dinner reservation yet? You’re clearly a male character in a sitcom so what else were you even supposed to do?! WELL GOOD LUCK, BUDDY! Luckily for you, you still have time to buy* you and your sweetheart The Kissinger, a virtual kissing device that looks like a little round pig and enables three modes of interaction:
- Human to Human tele-kiss through the device
- Human to Robot kiss
- Human to Virtual character physical/virtual kiss
So it doesn’t matter if you’re dating a human, a robot, or a character in a game you play (!!!!!!!). NO JUDGIES! It’s Valentine’s Day, a day for love and kissing, no matter WHOM it is between.
Here is a conversation that can be your reality, if you are thoughtful enough to purchase this gift for your Valentine:
You: Happy Valentine’s Day! I bought us this!
Yours: What is it?
You: A little robot. We both have one and when we kiss it, it let’s us feel the other person’s kiss so it’s like we’re kissing each other, even when we’re apart!
Yours: Ohh…So, when? Like, when we’re at work?
You: Yeah, maybe! Or just whenever we miss each other.
Yours: We kiss the pig whenever we miss each other.
You: Yeah. I just thought it was cute?
Yours: Well, no. I mean it’s definitely cute! Thank you, love.
You: You don’t like it.
Yours: I do like it! It’s just–
Yours: It’s just a little weird. To have to kiss this robot? You know?
You: I just thought it would help us feel together when we were apart.
Yours: That’s a very sweet idea.
You: You hate it.
Yours: Listen, I don’t hate it. Can we just stop talking about it?
Yours: Are you upset?
HAPPY EARLY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!!!!! (Buy me this!) (Via Laughing Squid.)