Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Hi guys! It’s Kelly. How are you? I hope you all had a pretty good week! Was anyone nominated for any Academy Awards? Congrats if yes. Speaking of the Academy Awards, the results of the “Who Do U Wanna Hang Out W/ At Sundance?very smart poll ARE IN! Turns out an overwhelming percentage of you want to hang out with Kirsten Dunst almost kissing Lizzy Caplan? EVEN WHEN you were given the opportunity to choose to hang out with KERR SMITH? From Dawson’s Creek?! Whatever, you guys. A close (not close) second and third were “Glasses of Stella Artois” and “Late Night Lounge Just By Yourself,” which I totally understand. See you at next year’s Sundance (blog post)! Have a good weekend! XOXO!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Mel Gibson Is Just A Regular Citizen On A Jury Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Polythene Pam | Jan 23rd Score:46

If only there was a bear to teach us how marriage is a decision that could define the rest of our lives.

Oh well! Let’s get married so we can go bang!

Posted in: Purity Bear Reminds You That The Day Of Purity Is Coming Up
#4 lawblog | Jan 25th Score:49

Looks like he’ll have to sikh legal representation —Lay Jeno

Posted in: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Jay Leno Is Being Sued Over A Mitt Romney Joke
#3 Zayin_451 | Jan 25th Score:49

This man has the same problem I do. Never give interviews while you are hungry.

Posted in: East Haven Mayor Rests His Case About Mexicans Eating Tacos And Something About Spaghetti
#2 That One | Jan 24th Score:52

Possibilities for next year’s SOTU drinking game:

Drink every time:

- Rick Santorum tells pregnant rape victims to deal with it.

- Newt Gingrich rips up a food stamp in front of a pregnant rape victim.

- Mitt Romney malfunctions when asked about pregnant rape victims.

- Ron Paul haha jk he’ll never be President.

Posted in: The State Of The Union Drinking Game
#1 topknot | Jan 25th Score:59

Wait, if India can sue American TV shows, how has India not sued Outsourced yet?

Posted in: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Jay Leno Is Being Sued Over A Mitt Romney Joke

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Great job, everybody! VERY political this week. All about the issues. The top comments from Videogum’s top issue-minds-commenters, and OTHER dumb things for me to say. You are all great! I hope your Friday is FULL of celebrating your top-rated comment, and your weekend is full of rest.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 facetaco | Jan 20th Score:-29
It doesn’t interfere with his ability to do anything. But it DOES make me see him as not taking his position as seriously as he should.

Also, maybe relaaaax, Chuck Kinbote.

Posted in: Four More Years Of Obama Singing Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together”

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Gabe and everybody else have already had their say about this comment. So I think we can let it rest there? Right? Facetaco, you see that milk joke Obama made? Did that change your mind? #milkjoke2012]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Dr. Feelgood | Jan 24th Score:37

Mel, it’s “yes, your honor,” not “sure thing, sugartits.”

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Mel Gibson Is Just A Regular Citizen On A Jury

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Dr. Feelgood! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

Trina Werner | Jan 25th Score:-2
I already hung out with a mustached Micheal Cera, so this question doesn’t really apply to me. In fact I complimented him on it. “I didn’t recognize you at first with the new stache, I like it” He is the farthest thing from all of his awkward characters. Very laid back and amazingly cool.
Posted in: Who Do U Wanna Hang Out W/ At Sundance?

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Very laid back and AMAZINGLY COOL comment! Oh my goodness. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gone back and read this comment this week when I needed a quick happiness boost. I think we should maybe shut Monsters’ Ball down, yes? Once you have THE BEST COMMENT, why waste time celebrating anything less? Right? RIP Monsters’ Ball. You’re perfect, Trina. Never change. And please tell Michael Cera I say hello.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

djfreshie | Jan 23rd Score:33

“If I was on that 5 yard line with my team, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of stiff-paws in that rush and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land in the end-zone safely, don’t worry.’” – Marky Bark

Posted in: Announcing The Starting Line-Up For Puppy Bowl VIII!

[Ed. Note: I’m not saying that a parodic variation on the now classic Mark Wahlberg quote is a shoe-in for Editor’s Choice. This will probably be the last one. But it is a shoe-in for always making me LAFF. Also, the Puppy Bowl, you guys. Get psyched!]