Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Man, can we just take a second and remember that that Mark Wahlberg quote was SPECIAL. I just want to make sure everyone understands that. Like, at the end of the day, it was just a dumb celebrity saying a dumb thing, but these moments don’t come along too often. Cherish them. This one is a real keeper. We’re going to be telling our grandholograms about the time a dead actor they’ve never heard of once said that he would have single-handedly stopped that very important thing they know they are supposed to care about but have a hard time relating to since it happened so many years before they were born. A gem. Never forget. PAH!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Look Who’s Knocked Up 2 Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 explainer guy tries again | Jan 18th Score:70

i doubt he has anything against the Departed. he was just saying, unlike the Other Guys he would’ve given them the Big Hit and taken out the terrorist Entourage then there wouldn’t be so much Happening and we’d all celebrate him being such a Rock Star and we wouldn’t live in Fear.

Posted in: Quote Of The Day: Mark Wahlberg Would Have Stopped 9/11
#4 R2D2, Esq. | Jan 17th Score:70

I could see your point more if not for the fact that she has a lucrative endorsement deal for a diabetes drug. If privacy were her concern, she wouldn’t have the endorsement. If other peoples well-being were her concern, she wouldn’t have waited for an endorsement.

Posted in: Paula Deen Has Type 2 Diabetes, Is An Asshole
#3 R2D2, Esq. | Jan 18th Score:71

“Say hi to your maker for me!” – Mark Wahlberg, seconds before killing the terrorists

Posted in: Quote Of The Day: Mark Wahlberg Would Have Stopped 9/11
#2 R2D2, Esq. | Jan 16th Score:76

Right now this is just some YouTube video, but I feel like eventually it will also be known as “evidence”.

Posted in: “My Video For Briona”
#1 Jeb | Jan 18th Score:99

Says the guy who couldn’t prevent The Happening from happening.

Posted in: Quote Of The Day: Mark Wahlberg Would Have Stopped 9/11

[Assoc. Ed. Note: R2D2, Esq. REALLY killed it this week, guys. Three top five comments in three different posts? C’mon. GMAFB. Way to go, man. Did you start taking a new kind of Limitless type drug that makes you very good at commenting? If so, WHY DIDN’T YOU GET NUMBER ONE, THEN? Jeb, congratulations on beating R2D2, Esq., even while he was probably on some type of future drug like from the movie Limitless, except about commenting. Explainer guy tries again — very good job to you, too. HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 Steve Winwood | Jan 13th Score:-27
I cant stand that two first names dude. Small face on a big head. Looks like a weird anime doll or something. I hate Parks and Recreation.
Posted in: Thursday Night TV Open Thread

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Well, sure. He does have that. But sorry, Winwood, EVERYONE LOVES HIM. You know what I thought last week while watching Parks and Recreation? I thought, “If Adam Scott has a girlfriend I bet she loves him so much.” Hahah. UGH. It’s easy to say embarrassing things about yourself when no one is looking at your face just kidding it’s always easy! But yeah people like this so that’s why you got downvotes and you probably even wanted them so congratulations and HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Godsauce | Jan 17th Score:48

They are probably celebrating Katherine Heigl moving out.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Look Who’s Knocked Up 2: This Is 40

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Godsauce! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

  Funtastik | Jan 17th Score:6

At least now I don’t have to worry. I can finally live my life without fear. I can truly, wholly live. In the moment and in myself. Because I’ve seen the worst thing. And there’s no going back.

Posted in: Oh My God Do Not Watch This Spider Video

[Assoc. Ed. Note: A lot of big things happened this week, and there were a lot of great comments about all of them, but one thing I’d like us all to remember is how we all pulled together in hating that spider video so much. REMEMBER THAT SPIDER VIDEO? Oh my god. So gross. I’m glad we could all be here for each other about it. You don’t always get to have a friend to share your nightmares with, and that’s a truly special thing. Oh and I’m sorry that I showed it to you.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  Frank Lloyd Wrong | 10:25am Score:52

Ugh, Ricky Gervais’ reputation is in such an unmitigated tailspin. Why didn’t Wahlberg stop this when he had the chance?

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Ricky Gervais Dresses Up As Hitler For No Apparent Reason

[Ed. Note: This is a very honest Editor’s Choice. I am the editor and I choose this. That’s what’s happening right here. Very good comment! Really ties the room together!]