I know that none of us want to look at a picture of Snooki. Believe me. She is not a person that is or has ever been on any of our radars. But, uhhhh…I
want NEED to talk to you about something. So, you know how Snooki looks so disgusting all the time? Like a legit monster? Well, today she tweeted a photo of herself without makeup on and she is UNRECOGNIZABLY BEAUTIFUL. If she weren’t making such a goddamn dumb face I’d hardly even believe it was her! HER EYES! LOOK AT HER EYES! I wanted to bring this to your attention, ladies, because…Maybe we should all start wearing a lot of disgusting makeup for a while? Like, just a few years. Cover our faces in fake tanner and bronzer and eyeshadow and a flour/water combination and sriracha and superglue and coal and whatever else, and then just sleep in it every night and reapply the next day. Then once we decided to go makeup free, WE WILL ALL LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL IN COMPARISON! And everyone will applaud our natural beauty. They’ll say, “Oh my god, you are so beautiful without makeup on!” And we’ll say, “Oh no, I look so gross! Don’t look at me, yuck!” But really we’ll be thinking, “IT WORKED!” And we will want them to look at us forever.