A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Bridesmaids 2 Without Kristen Wiig?!
Gabe: Kelly, you OK?
Kelly: I’m fine, why do you ask?
Gabe: oh, so you haven’t heard the news?
Kelly: Oh no, I guess not.
Gabe: that Hollywood is considering making a sequel to Bridesmaids
Kelly: Oh that sounds great! Great news.
Gabe: but WITHOUT kristen wiig?
Gabe: there we are
Gabe: i just hope
Gabe: that your parents
Gabe: have set aside a little money
Gabe: for your funeral
Gabe: there is nothing worse than having to bury a child
Gabe: except when you have to but can’t afford to
Kelly: You’re right. If they haven’t
Kelly: can you let them know that I’d like to be buried at sea?
Gabe: what is your mom’s email?
Kelly: Thank you
Gabe: “Hey, Kelly’s dead. Take care of it.”
Gabe: i’ll probably just poke her on Facebook
Gabe: she’ll know
Kelly: Poke her and then can you post a link to the Bridesmaids article on her wall?
Gabe: “She died doing what she loved. Being told she was fired.”
Gabe: what’s the most upsetting part to you, as a woman, about this Bridesmaidz news?
Kelly: As a woman the most upsetting part is being asked how it makes me feel as a woman, GABE
Kelly: Second most is
Kelly: HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!
Gabe: it’s called showbusiness, not crybabybusiness, ladies
Gabe: you are the ones who wanted to have your own movie
Gabe: and now you’ve got it
Gabe: and you’re not happy
Kelly: This is worse than when they went ahead with a Bring It On sequel without Kirsten Dunst
Kelly: Or when they went ahead with a Clueless TV show without Alicia Silverstone
Gabe: NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU WILL WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS AND CUDDLE AND READ BOOKS
Kelly: NO WE WON’T
Kelly: NOT THE LAST PART
Gabe: i saw someone write something like
Gabe: “why can’t a good movie stand alone, why does everything have to be a sequel?”
Gabe: which is a perfectly reasonable and correct thing to think
Gabe: but also has that person never heard of Hollywood before?
Kelly: Right, yes
Gabe: like, this story is so predictable as to be boring and i’ll tell you something else
Gabe: i honestly do not understand why it bothers anyone!
Gabe: just don’t go see the sequel
Kelly: Let it go
Gabe: it doesn’t make the first movie WORSE somehow
Kelly: Let Bridesmaids go
Gabe: i promise you this
Gabe: the day after the Bridesmaid sequel comes out
Gabe: good or bad
Gabe: everyone who is bitching about it on Tumblr will still be alive
Gabe: i mean, most of them
Gabe: and anyway, those who die
Gabe: it will not be from this
Gabe: but, like, LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY, BOYS!
Kelly: Yeah. Pick your Hollywood battles. Like hearing Bane’s voice clearly.
Kelly: Not this
Kelly: The only unfortunate thing that I can see
Kelly: Is that the first movie was not titled Bridesmaid
Kelly: So the second could be Bridesmaids
Gabe: good point
Kelly: They really missed that one
Gabe: i think everyone will probably relax
Gabe: about this whole thing
Gabe: when the sequel is called
Gabe: Bride2maids Too: Look Who’s Bridesmaid3 Too!
Kelly: “I’m not saying I’m happy about the project or what it says about the industry but at least they got the title right.”
Gabe: also, people are acting like this is just obviously going to be terrible
Gabe: but they don’t know!
Gabe: this could be a Leprechaun 2 without Jennifer Aniston situation
Gabe: many would argue Leprechaun 2 was SUPERIOR
Gabe: it had a go-kart race
Gabe: and someone was killed with an espresso machine
Kelly: You’re right. I’m sure almost all would argue that it was superior.
Kelly: Maybe everyone just needs to be reminded of Leprechaun 2?
Kelly: Maybe Kristen Wiig just needs to be reminded of Leprechaun 2
Gabe: on his 1000th birthday
Gabe: is a very good start
Gabe: to any movie plot synopsis
Kelly: you are
Kelly: exactly correct
Gabe: actually that whole segment fragment
Gabe: is pretty much perfect
Gabe: On his 1000th birthday, a mean Leprechaun gets to choose a bride by making her sneeze three times, then she’s his…
Kelly: Say no more, plot synopsis.
Kelly: You’ve already done enough.
Kelly: The real question is I guess why is Hollywood making any sequels to any movie
Gabe: it makes no sense
Gabe: what are they going to do with all of that money?
Gabe: come on, guys
Kelly: ??? I’m sure they already have houses
Gabe: do you really need all of that money? what is your motivation here?
Kelly: what do you need?
Kelly: MORE houses?
Kelly: A TV in EVERY room?
Gabe: i thought they were an art museum
Gabe: i also think it’s funny
Kelly: “I thought they were an art museum.”
Gabe: i mean, look, Bridesmaids was great
Gabe: but the idea that you can’t make a sequel
Gabe: to a movie that featured an extensive
Gabe: diarrhea sequence
Gabe: because it’s perfect
Gabe: is a very funny thing to argue
Gabe: especially since Bridesmaids was itself a sequel
Gabe: to The Hangover 3
Gabe: DING DONG
Gabe: I GOT YOU
Gabe: how was your salad today?
Kelly: It was fine, small but you know I’m not really that hungry lately in the afternoon?
Gabe: hen party
Kelly: I think it’s because I’m so busy and things have been pretty stressful with one of my best friends and it’s like
Kelly: I’m not super sure of the decisions she’s making but it’s like, I know there should be a boundary there?
Kelly: I shouldn’t be making her decisions for her but it’s hard to bite my tongue because I care about her a lot
Kelly: It’s just hard.
Gabe: no, it sounds hard
Kelly: How does it feel for you
Kelly: to be dressed as a woman at your computer all day?
Gabe: i’m just lucky to have a job at all in this woman-based economy