FOX News Finally Takes On The “Communist” Muppets

By Gabe Delahaye / December 5, 2011

There was an article in the Jew-run New York Times last week about the current congressional fight over a payroll tax cut that pointed out how, in a rare turn of events, democrats were out-maneuvering republicans over a tax cut, which, you know, is usually the republicans whole “thing.” The reason for this is the terms of the cuts, which, as proposed, would provide tax relief for 160 million middle-class Americans, but would raise taxes on 350,000 millionaires and billionaires. By standing in the way of this legislation, the republicans are presenting themselves as aggressively pro-rich at a moment when, uh, you know, that’s not that cool. Whoops! The reason I even mention it is because the article cited a pretty interesting recent statistic that more than 70 percent of Americans support a tax increase on the wealthiest Americans. As they should! But that is a huge number. It is increasingly clear that politicians on both sides of the debate (although they all agree about being millionaires themselves) are going to need to make some changes soon to address this genuine problem before the whole thing falls apart. In light of this, and the Occupy Wall Street movement, and the general tone of the national discussion after years of a depressed and immobile economy, listening to the FOX News business channel spouting any kind of tone deaf, pro-big business propaganda feels off to say the least, and downright insufferable if you actually spend any time with it. But to hear them spouting off about how wonderful OIL BARONS are in an unnecessary attack against THE MUPPETS, well, OK, that’s kind of funny.

Who OK’ed this? Which producer OK’ed this? Was it Steve Doocy? I don’t think he’s a producer, but I like to imagine that he makes all of the decisions over there. “Rule #1: Ask Doocy.” Obviously, if you ARE going to build a case that Liberal Hollywood is trying to “use class warfare to brainwash our kids” against the oil industry (?!?!?!) then you should definitely start with The Muppets, move on to Cars 2, and then cite Syriana and THERE WILL BE BLOOD. It is almost cruel how those children’s movies manipulate their audience against one of the most beloved industries in the world. (What is even going ON here?!)

Rest your case! Rest your case! Obama invented food stamps! WHY WON’T THE LIBERALS LEAVE OUR CHILDREN ALONE?! BARNEY FRANK LOOKS LIKE A MUPPET ANYWAY, SO NOW WE ARE HAVING AN ADULT DEBATE AMONG FUCKING PROFESSIONALS!

I definitely do think that the first dude has a point, though, when he says that these movies are ignoring what oil means to most Americans: FUEL TO LIGHT A HOSPITAL and/or FUEL TO FUEL AN AMBULANCE TO GET YOU TO THE HOSPITAL*. That is totally what I was thinking. Incredible. Whenever I think of fuel I definitely think of the excessive profits that oil companies make from a product that is almost impossibly destructive to the environment, is largely run by a cabal of middle-eastern billionaires with questionable intentions and known ties to terrorism, and is a limited resource with a stranglehold on our global economy while working tirelessly to prevent the types of innovation we will need to prevent an international collapse when it runs out all the ways in which we definitely need to go to the hospital. Is he psychic? GET OUT OF MY BRAIN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! (Via HuffingtonPost.) #OccupySesameStreet

*”They don’t want to tell that story.” Holy shit, can you imagine how good the movie about how fuel runs the ambulance to take you to the hospital would be? Good movie. Three stars. All the Oscars.