Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

By Gabe Delahaye / December 2, 2011

OK, so, yesterday I wrote a fan fiction about Charlize Theron getting bullied in school and people in the comments were not happy about it! Apparently, according to them, I was being an asshole to Charlize Theron. Whoops? Now, I will say that it was pointed out to me that Charlize Theron had a very troubled childhood including a violent, alcoholic father, and a particularly gruesome event involving her mother and her father and a gun and her father dying. Yikes! That sounds awful! Admittedly, I did not know these things about her past, and if I had maybe the world would be a different place, in terms of what kind of Charlize Theron fan fiction existed in it. Although, let’s also please remember that it is FAN FICTION, which is to say, IT IS NONSENSE. You could have switched out the name Charlize Theron with any of the other dozens of celebrities who have talked about their ugly duckling childhoods and the point would have been the same: I find these anecdotes uncompelling and disingenuous. (It is also worth pointing out that Charlize Theron was not, contrary to some of the commenters complaints, talking about her genuinely troubled youth, but was just saying she wore awkward glasses for a couple of years, which if her childhood was as horrible as it seems, bad eyewear was literally the least of her problems.) The point is, I am sorry if I offended any Charlize Theron fans out there. That wasn’t the point. Although to the people who said that they thought Videogum was “better than that,” I would like to ask, better than what? A stupid, tongue-in-cheek short story about a celebrity who is beautiful being told she is beautiful? Sorry. We are not better than that. It doesn’t get better. On that note: HAVE A NICE WEEKEND!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Bill Murray And The Obamas At A College Basketball Game Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Jeb | Nov 30th Score:60

L’OL

Posted in: Uh, What’s Up With France?
#4 Jeb | Nov 28th Score:63

You see white people making mac and cheese and they’re all like *oh, hello, honey, I’m making mac and cheese*, and then you see black people making mac and cheese and they’re all like BAM, BAM, BAM, I’m makin’ mac n cheese, woman!

Posted in: Is Mac And Cheese A Black Thing?
#3 The Aura of the H-Man | Nov 28th Score:65

It could be, I guess, but that’s typically a sign that you’ve left it on the stove WAY too long.

Posted in: Is Mac And Cheese A Black Thing?
#2 bisquetaker | Nov 28th Score:76

If mac and cheese is a black thing then I’m Miles Davis.

Posted in: Is Mac And Cheese A Black Thing?
#1 huckabeast | Nov 29th Score:78

Everybody was curious about what he said, but he just leaned in close and whispered into their ears as the music swelled and it remained a mystery forever.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Bill Murray And The Obamas At A College Basketball Game

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Congratulations, huckabeast! Both the caption contest AND the highest rated post. A+ work. I can't even believe anyone said anything else in the caption contest when that was clearly the correct answer. Great job in the mac and cheese thread to the rest of you, and Jeb, I hope you're excited about your double-win. I'm proud of all of you. I hope you have very nice weekends.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 ElectricKoala | Nov 30th Score:-8
Considering they can rarely be funny for a full 15 minutes I think I’ll wait to get excited for this one
Posted in: The Tim And Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie Teaser Trailer, You Guys

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Well, that's what you get for saying something negative about something that people like. WELCOME TO ONLINE, ELECTRICKOALA! Here are your eight downvotes.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

huckabeast | Nov 29th Score:78

Everybody was curious about what he said, but he just leaned in close and whispered into their ears as the music swelled and it remained a mystery forever.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Bill Murray And The Obamas At A College Basketball Game

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, huckabeast. You earned it!]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

solid | Nov 28th Score:13

I will have this stuck in my head all day! Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwooowww

ooowwowooooooooooooweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwww

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (gasp) eeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooowwwwwwwwww…

Posted in: It Is Officially The Holiday Season!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahahaha. That was a very accurate onomatopoeia for the sound that man was making in the video. Great job! Spelling out the sound something is making is a thing that I think is very funny. I DON'T CARE IF YOU AGREE! Also, it's worth noting that this was solid's first comment ever on Videogum. Great job, solid!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

old man fatima | Nov 29th Score:11

What did Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Mani-pesto!

Posted in: Domino’s Pizza iPad App Looks Fun, Delicious, And Insulting

[Ed. Note: I am not sure if this is one of the best comments of all time or the worst comments of all time, but it's clearly very important. Always a conversation-starter, Zizek_69!]