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Tom From MySpace Is….NOT THE FATHER!

Gabe Delahaye | November 23, 2011 - 9:30 am

Wait a second, did we fall into a wormhole? Sorry, guys. I think we fell into a wormhole. Hopefully Rufus (R.I.P.) will be here soon with the telephone booth to take us back to, I don’t know, what, a combination of 1996 and 2003? You were right, Facebook, it IS complicated. Like, how is it 2011 and Maury Povich is still doing paternity tests? A movie SPOOFING that five years ago would have felt old and lazy. But even more importantly, WHO IS ON MYSPACE?! Admittedly, the baby is at least 9 months old, although he’s probably 10 months old, since you’re not supposed to put television makeup on a baby in the first month, but 10 months ago was still FIVE YEARS AFTER MYSPACE. I do kind of wish that the dude would come out from backstage after Maury was finished ridiculing him with his weird, satisfied “this lipgloss tastes like racism” grin and explain that Occam’s Razor suggests that Tom is the father of his girlfriend’s baby. “OCCAM’S RAZOR, MAURY!” (Via VV.com.)