If you look up “what kids want” in the dictionary app on the iPad there’s a CGI hologram of Woody the Woodpecker.
Woody The Woodpecker/Angry Birds crossover? Yes, please!
Yet there’s still no word on Chilly Willy? Pshh.
i can just hear the obnoxious, mocking laughs of studio executive as they ferociously, rhythmically peck away on their calculators, counting their money before running off into the sunset cackling.
Sanjaya finally has a reason to jump into the movie industry.
“Worlds Been Had Colliding: Franchises Been Had Rebooting,” the new Videogum sub-segment, covering the entertainment industry and its apparent undying devotion to this fucking concept:
I am so tired of hearing stories of corporation’s attempts to ‘modernize’ a thing they own. When applied to the business of taking old childhood nostalgia, repackaging and selling it to the newest generation of children, ‘modernizing’ usually means putting in a bunch of IMMEDIATELY stale pop culture references, slang, and Mickey Mouse Club-selected celebrity voice talent (Miley Cyrus, Katie Perry) over ACTUAL talented voice actors (Billy West, John Di Maggio, Tom Kinney, Laraine Newman, etc etc), a script that serves no deeper purpose than tying all of their boring, useless pop culture references together, inappropriate jokes gracelessly jammed in that are meant for the parents but distract and befuddle kids (the Smurfs pregnancy plot is a prime example), and a shitload of literal and figurative toilet humor.
These movie monoliths still have not learned from the Pixar model. Make a good story. Make timeless characters in classical peril. Make it ALL ages. Why is that so fucking hard?
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