Yesterday, America’s Bride, Courtney Stodden, appeared on Dr. Drew’s new show (Prologue: Dr. Drew has a new show) called Dr. Drew’s Life Changers (what?) to FINALLY lay to rest the hot-button debate of whether or not she has breast implants. SCREEEEEEEEEECH! Sorry. Had to put the brakes on. Who asked for this? SHOW YOURSELF, COWARD! (As a follow up question I would like to know who let Dr. Drew out of GARBAGE JAIL?! Do we really want pieces of shit like that roaming our streets and getting new shows?) Anyway, a professionally trained ultrasound technician put a blanket over Courtney Stodden’s chest and proceeded to palpate her (or something) on giant studio monitors while Dr. Drew put on his Doctor Face and Courtney’s 510-year-old husband, Doug Hutchinson, bit his knuckles. Everyone takes it so seriously as if this is a real thing! I’m not sure if there are Academy Awards for fake health-based afternoon reality TV show broadcasts, but if so, I’d like to nominate Dr. Drew for The Worst.
Of course, the real heroes in all of this are the members of the LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. Way to spend your afternoon guys. Really doing it. If only your parents (who died of shame, I’m sure) could see you now.