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COULD ROBERT PATTINSON AND KRISTEN STEWART BE ACCIDENTALLY FOR REAL MARRIED?!

Kelly Conaboy | October 31, 2011 - 1:15 pm

EVERYBODY! I HAVE SOME MORE INCREDIBLY EXCITING NEWS! IF YOU’VE JUST TAKEN A BITE OF YOUR LUNCH I SUGGEST THAT YOU EITHER SWALLOW IT RIGHT NOW OR YOU SPIT IT OUT INTO A TISSUE AND THEN THROW IT AWAY. IT’S UP TO YOU TO DECIDE WHICH THING YOU WANT TO DO, DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH LUNCH YOU HAVE LEFT OR HOW FAR ALONG IN THE CHEWING PROCESS YOU ARE WITH THIS BITE, OR WHATEVER. HOWEVER YOU WANT TO DECIDE, IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER TO ME AT ALL. I’M JUST SAYING THAT IF YOU READ THIS EXCITING BIT OF NEWS WHILE YOU’RE TRYING TO SWALLOW A BITE OF SOME LUNCH YOU’RE 100% DEFINITELY GOING TO CHOKE ON IT AND DIE, AND IF YOU DIE YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO ENJOY/HATE OR TALK ABOUT THIS NEWS, AND IT IS NEWS THAT YOU ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO WANT TO ENJOY/HATE AND TALK ABOUT!!!!! SO. FIRST. REMEMBER HOW BELLA AND EDWARD ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED IN A TWILIGHT MOVIE? AND HOW WE ALL DESPERATELY WANT IT TO NOT BE A MOVIE, AND INSTEAD BE REAL LIFE? BECAUSE THEN WE’LL FINALLY KNOW FOR SURE THAT LOVE IS REAL AND NOT JUST A THING FROM BOOKS AND STUPID LOVE SONGS THAT WERE WRITTEN ONLY TO MAKE MONEY AND PROMOTE AN IDEA THAT JUST ISN’T REAL OR IS, AT BEST, SOME SORT OF CHEMICAL REACTION IN YOUR BRAIN OR WHATEVER? WELL!!! FROM MSN!!!!!!!:

Robert Pattinson has revealed that he and real-life girlfriend Kristen Stewart could have accidentally become man and wife thanks to their Twilight wedding. …

“The wedding scene’s funny because we used a real priest. So technically we are already married because he did all the things you would do in a normal ceremony,” he said during a press conference in Stockholm, Sweden, on Friday. “So we don’t have a civil union in law, but I guess in the church we are actually married.”

ACTUALLY MARRIED! IN THE CHURCH! HE GUESSES!!!!!!!!!!!! SO WHEN YOU SEE THE TWILIGHT MOVIE AND THE REAL PRIEST IS SAYING ALL OF THOSE THINGS, HE IS ACTUALLY SAYING THEM!!! AND THEY ARE ACTUALLY MARRIED!!!! IN THE CHURCH!!!! I’M ASSUMING SOME SORT OF CHRISTIAN CHUCH THOUGH I’M NOT SURE HOW CHRISTIANITY FITS INTO BEING A VAMPIRE THOUGH FROM WHAT I’VE HEARD ALL THOSE BOOKS ARE SOMEHOW ABOUT CHRISTIANITY ANYWAY SO I GUESS IT WORKS!! IN ANY CASE, LOVE EXISTS! GOD EXISTS! HAPPINESS EXISTS! I HOPE NONE OF YOU DIED READING THIS! R.I.P. IF YOU DID! I HOPE HEAVEN IS FULL OF ROBERT PATTINSON AND KRISTEN STEWART WEDDINGS, LET US KNOW IF IT IS!!!!!!!!