Guys, believe me when I say that music is important. It’s the universal language! I don’t actually know what means, and it sounds like it’s probably false. The universe is huge. There’s got to be something out there that is like “Music? Don’t speak it.” But it’s basically the universal language. Human beings have been making and enjoying it forever and we all love to listen to it and talk about it. Well, at least we used to anyway. That’s all over now. We have found the last song, and it is called “Pizza Party,” of course. Sometimes people will say that music is dead because they hear something so awful that it seems like humankind has passed some sort of irrevocable turning point beyond which we are nothing. That’s not what I’m saying at all. This is a celebration, bitches! Music is over and we don’t need any more songs because we found the best one! They say that life is a journey, not a destination, but it turns out that’s not true. Life is a destination. DESTINATION PIZZA PARTY!
It’s been a fun ride, this whole music thing, but I’m glad it’s over if this is how it ends. We got that butter sauce! (Thanks for the tip, Jordan.)