Ashton Kutcher Would Like To Open A Dialog About Something?

Gabe Delahaye | October 25, 2011 - 9:30 am

Cool. Thanks for opening this dialog, Ashton. I guess we should just upload our own YouTubes and you will definitely see them and watch them and think about them and respond to them? And then we can do the same with each other’s YouTubes, until there’s just this sprawling collection of dimly lit YouTubes with terrible audio quality going back and forth, the same poop, forever? You know, like a dialog. Perfect dialog. The only thing smarter than “opening a dialog” by posting a direct-to-camera vlog that you recorded while watching football (and it’s worth pointing out that this copy is actually a re-upload by someone else, so it’s hard to know if Ashton Kutcher is even in control of this dialog anymore, or if the dialogmates have taken over the dialogsylum) is everything else Ashton Kutcher says in this video. It was expensive to print books and that is why social media is untrustworthy? BOOM! You did it, bro. You cracked the code. From Earnest Hemingway to Turntable.FM, it’s all a big fucking lie. I’m pretty sure this is what the movie Chain Reaction was about, and that you should be wearing the Harvard sweatshirt instead of Keanu Reeves, because you’re the genius and he’s just a fucking actor. Something tells me that you made this video in response to the rumors circulating over whether or not you are cheating on Demi Moore, but that’s less of an instance of a lie circulating around the globe in an instant because of Twitter, and more to do with a woman you raw-dogged doing an interview about it. Are tell-all interviews “social media”? I suppose as much as any of this has to do with “literature.” What are we talking about again? Ashton, could you please moderate the dialog that you opened? Some of the audience is losing the thread. (Via ONTD.)