Let me begin by saying that it must be incredibly frustrating to be an artist and feel like you have no control over the way in which your art is used. Like if you were a painter and nobody was buying your paintings but then your WORST ENEMY was like, “I’ll give you $100,000 for that painting.” And it’s like, ugh, it is my worst enemy, but I could really use that $100,000. And then you sell it to them and they display it prominently at a party they throw to raise money for a cause they know you don’t support. Or if you make jewelry and sell it on Etsy and Kathie Lee buys some and wears it on Today and talks about how she got it through you, and kind of makes it seem like you just gave it to her when in reality she bought it herself and it has nothing to do with you. And you’re like uuggghh, I don’t even like Kathy Lee! Or if you’re Adam Levine and Fox News plays clips of your band Maroon 5’s music in-between segments, which is what this story is about. Frustrated, Adam Levine took to Twitter, the designated place to solve all music licensing disputs, tweeting: “Dear Fox News, don’t play our music on your evil fucking channel ever again. Thank you.” Polite enough for me, but clearly not polite enough for Red Eye’s Greg Gutfeld and Andy Levy.
BOOM! YOU’VE BEEN RED EYE BURNED, ADAM LEVINE! Did you see when Andy Levy was pretend not sure of the number in your band’s name? Did you hear when Greg Gutfeld said your music is under the crap category on iTunes? Did you feel how the whole conversation was a little off and weird feeling sometimes, but sometimes it flowed normally and you’re not really sure why that is? Like sometimes there was a delay between them and sometimes there wasn’t? And it made everything a little awkward? DIDJA SEE, ADAM LEVINE!? To be honest, though, I do kind of appreciate them playing Maroon 5 after he requested that they didn’t. But I think it maybe would’ve been funnier if they just acted like they liked it? And that’s why they were playing it? I don’t know, I’m certainly no comedy writer for Fox, but I’m just saying if Fox needs a writer to sort out their burnfest comedy segments I’m open to the possibility. Also: Adam Levine, maybe talk to your record label or music licensing/publishing company? Or whatever? I think this is something that can be dealt with in a real way, unless this is all just a clever stunt to support the new season of Survivor that you host, LOL? I don’t know, guys. I can’t be everything to everyone. I can only be either Red Eye’s comedy writer OR Adam Levine’s legal assistant. Best offer wins! (Via Mediaite.)