Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

By Kelly Conaboy / September 30, 2011

Hello, everyone! Goodbye, everyone! This week went by very quickly, I can hardly even believe it’s Friday. Not that I’m not GLAD. I love the weekend. But if there were a few extras days this week I probably wouldn’t have noticed. Anyway I wanted to mention here that everyone’s favorite book club, Bookgum, is up and running again on MOBFD. Great! You should join it! They’re reading Infinite Jest first, which you DEFINITELY own and probably haven’t finished, so why not. So do that and then have a great weekend!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Argentinian Jack And Jill Poster Contest, and the Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 R2D2, Esq. | Sep 23rd Score:71

You know how straight soldiers have always been able to talk about their loved ones back home without getting fired? Well now gay soldiers can, too. Some people think that’s a bad thing, and I’m at a complete loss to understand how anyone could be so small and petty and hateful.

Posted in: Another Republican Debate, Another Disgusting Nightmare!
#4 Dr. Feelgood | Sep 27th Score:73

UNHANCE PLEASE

Posted in: Whoever Patti Stanger Is, She Needs To Rest Her Case
#3 Son of Gabe | Sep 23rd Score:74

What else can you expect from a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter?

Posted in: Another Republican Debate, Another Disgusting Nightmare!
#2 facetaco | Sep 27th Score:76

Talk about a MILF!

(Mother I’d like to filechargesagainst)

Posted in: BAD PARENTING ALERT!
#1 explainer guy tries again | Sep 27th Score:100

“you mean i could have just brought her out to party with me?” – casey anthony

Posted in: BAD PARENTING ALERT!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahah, very good. Congratulations to you, explainer guy! First place. No one can take that away from you now, you'll have it until you die. And congratulations to you, Dr. Feelgood. Your comment is my favorite. Don't tell anyone else but between you and me yours is my favorite.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1  

Anthony Mosesso | Sep 23rd Score:-62
To the writer of this article, it’s funny that you want to argue the Constitutionality of this and say “how can people be for this when it’s been declared unconstitutional blah blah blah.” Kind of reminds me of Obamacare – ruled unconstitutional by multiple judges, a majority of America doesn’t even want it, yet it’s being force fed down our throats. Seems kind of hypocritical, no? 

Secondly, you’re misconstruing the entire point Santorum is trying to make. We don’t need sex in the military. The military is about national defense, not about somebody being either straight or gay. Quite frankly, I don’t give a crap who wants to join the military, but sexual preference needn’t be discussed. It’s irrelevant. I don’t care if the guy next to me in the barracks is gay or straight, either way, it just doesn’t need to be known – we’re together to achieve a common goal, defending the nation, not to sit here and discuss our sexual preference. That doesn’t make me or Santorum “homophobic” in any way, which by the way, is defined as “scared of homosexuals,” so that sounds ridiculous anyway. Having this opinion makes neither of us sexual preference-ist, if you will. It’s just that it DOESN’T MATTER what kind of sexual preference you have – you’re not going to stand up in a classroom and announce, “I’m gay!” so why do it ever? It’s not typically something people just announce randomly. It doesn’t need to be known. If anything, that would be protecting homosexuals from the people in the military that are strongly against that and might do something to them as a result. Just don’t bring it up, and join the military. It doesn’t matter. He’s right – it’s a volunteer organization – so if you can’t go in without being all activist and shoving your preference down people’s throats, then don’t do it.

Posted in: Another Republican Debate, Another Disgusting Nightmare!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: I know there were a lot of responses to this in the post comments, and that this person was pretty much the only person arguing in favor of what Rick Santorum said in the debate. So I don't want to beat an overwhelmingly opposed horse here. But it seems pretty clear that the argument was not that "we don't need sex in the military" -- though that is how Santorum attempted to portray it. The argument was to reinstate Don't Ask Don't Tell, which prohibited gay people from admitting to their sexuality, exclusively. Like R2D2, Esq. pointed out in the highest rated comments, this means heterosexuals could go on discussing their significant others at home without getting discharged while homosexuals were unable to speak about them. It's not about entering a room and proclaiming your gayness randomly. That is obvious. It's about not having to hide your life and who you are. And I won't even respond to the idea that DADT protects gay soldiers from homophobic soldiers. Give me a fucking break.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

catweazle | Sep 27th Score:55

Which also reminds me of the best Spanish language movie poster of all time:

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Argentinian Jack And Jill Poster

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, catweazle! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

Sir Frank Lloyd Wrong | Sep 29th Score:19

Let me get Brad Bird back on the side of the angels by pointing out Cruise’s asymmetrical teeth. All others, look away because you can’t unsee this:

Posted in: Why Don’t You Just Marry Tom Cruise Already, Brad Bird?!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: I just don't think I'll ever be able to stop thinking about this.]