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Dear Weetabix, Please Bring Your Dubstep Magic Cereal To America

By Gabe Delahaye / September 22, 2011 - 9:30 am

I don’t know what Weetabix is, because these colors don’t run, but if there is for real a breakfast cereal in this world that causes the sky to erupt into dubstep while all of the stuffed animals come to life and start tearing shit up (and are also black belts in karate? Is that one of the cereal’s effects, or was that bear always a black belt in karate and now he’s just using his years of disciplined training to make his magic dubstep dancing more impressive? If an official spokesperson for Weetabix, whatever Weetabix is, could get back to me on the origin story of the black belt karate dubstep dancing bear, that would be great, CHEERS) I would buy that cereal. Wait, is Weetabix the same thing as Skrillex? What’s Skrillex? Can you eat THAT for breakfast? I just want to eat something that will make me dance. Hallucinate and dance. GOOD MORNING!