SpongeBob SquarePants Is OUR Generation’s Gumby

Gabe Delahaye | September 15, 2011 - 11:45 am

Oh wait. A joke about SpongeBob SquarePants being OUR generation’s Gumby is not actually that funny. You know, because of how HE IS LITERALLY OUR GENERATION’S GUMBY. You know what else isn’t funny? Dudes dressing up as children’s cartoon characters and harassing women on the street. From the LA Times:

A man dressed as SpongeBob SquarePants was detained by police outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, officials said Wednesday.

The man was questioned but not arrested Tuesday in what a Los Angeles Police Department official described as a “brief incident with two females.” No other details were available.

You know what, Hollywood? How about no more adult-sized costumes of cartoon characters? They are clearly only for criminals. This is actually a perfect plan (to combat the perfect crimes) because let’s be honest, there is absolutely no reason for an adult to NEED a costume of a cartoon character, ever, not even on Halloween–Grow up, boys!–so this way if you make the costumes illegal contraband then as soon as you hear an adult ask “Hey, where are your Huckleberry Hound costumes?” you just arrest them on the spot before the crime is even committed! What do you think, precogs?

“I told you that was a good idea yesterday, Gabe, right before you said ‘What idea?'”

Oh right. Haha. Love you, precogs!

“We knew that.'”

Right, no, I know. Haha. OK.

“Good luck tomorrow.”


“You’ll see. PRECOGS OUT!'”

Ugh. Precogs.