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Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

By Gabe Delahaye / September 9, 2011 - 5:45 pm

BACK TO SCHOOL! How was everyone’s first week of school? Pencil’s sharp? Erasers pungent? Chalk unbroken? Other school stuff? It is actually hard for some of us to even remember what school was like, it was so long ago. Do you still get there on muleback? Is lunch still griddle cakes and beans? How many eyes does your teacher have? MORE THAN ONE?! I guess things really have changed. Anyway, study hard. Hit the books. Grow up. Become a job. Die. That’s the gist of it. Good luck! Have a great weekend/life!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Frank Lloyd Wrong | Sep 8th Score:53

I’ll just leave this here:

Posted in: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)
#4 Patrick M | Sep 2nd Score:55

“Play it, Sam. Play Ewok Celebration Theme…”

Posted in: New Dialogue That Was NOT Added To The Star Wars Blu Ray
#3 Dr. Feelgood | Sep 8th Score:60

“Confused? Good, now run with it” – The Bible

Posted in: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)
#2 Miss Rabbit | Sep 8th Score:61

How funny that the same political party that got so angry about imaginary healthcare death panels is now applauding the works of ACTUAL DEATH PANELS.

And by funny, I mean *gunshot*

Posted in: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Great job, poptopoi! Grabbing both highest rated comment AND the caption contest win. That almost never happens! JK, it happens a lot. You should still be very proud, though. Great image. Ask all of your friends buy you drinks tonight and when they ask why explain it to them in great detail. Congratulations to the rest of you, too. We’re all winners today, because the contest was to see who could have the most fun. Boooooooo, yaaaaaaaay!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1  

Chris Jones | Sep 8th Score:-36
No applause in the history of politics can match that of Nancy “Stretch” Pelosi during an Obama State of The Union. She sits behind him with that grin stretched across her surgically enhanced face and bobs up and down like a circus seal.
Posted in: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)

[Ed. Note: You know, there is a tendency on this site for people who post conservative viewpoints on the political posts to end up in the Lowest Rated at Monsters’ Ball and sometimes it’s unfortunate because sometimes it is just someone trying to argue a different opinion, which I would like to believe is the kind of thing that we all admire and respect around here. But in this case, you totally deserve it, Chris Jones. For one thing, it’s basically just one long ad hominem attack about her face and body, which is gross and has nothing to do with, you know, the complications of trying to govern the world’s richest nation. We can have different opinions about the best way to do that, but certainly limiting the debate to her face and walrus-body (which, what?) is not going to get anyone anywhere. But also, to compare the Speaker of the House applauding her party’s president during the State of the Union, which is pretty typical regardless of who the Speaker or the President is as long as they are on the same “side,” to applause over the execution of 234 human beings, and to actually suggest that this politician’s applause for another politician’s speech is worse simply because you disagree with their politics (which are built on a platform of plastic surgery and bouncing, apparently) is inane and depressing. Go away.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, poptopoi! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

 

Chris Trash | Sep 8th Score:9

Hey, that kid’s a pretty good drummer. Can’t wait for some recess themed crust punk.

Posted in: Today Is The First Day Of School, Kid!
facetaco | Sep 8th Score:7

The only problem there is that his mom always cuts the crusts off for him.

Posted in: Today Is The First Day Of School, Kid!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahah, ohh, you guys. I picked two comments this week because it was a back-and-forth. SUE ME, WHY DON’T YOU. Why don’t you just sue me about it. Good luck. Until then I’d like to say: A regular Abtrash and Costaco, these two. Great job. ]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

Lindsay Robertson | Sep 8th Score:3
I don’t know if I’m having a stroke or what but when I watch this I can SMELL THEM. 

 

Posted in: Goth Dudes Dancing To “Vogue”

[Ed. Note: GO TO THE DOCTOR, LINDSAY! DON’T TAKE UNNECESSARY RISKS WITH YOUR HEALTH! THIS IS NOT A JOKE. IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING (TO YOUR DOCTOR).]