Girl Tips: How To Dress Punk!

Kelly Conaboy | September 7, 2011 - 3:30 pm

Hey, girls! As you know, the punk look is on all the runways and in all the malls and magazines these days, and it’s not showing any signs of stopping. So just like you’ve done with the fad styles of the past — B-Girl, Rasta, Royal Wedding, Dub Step, Ska, Fast Food Waitress, Bling Queen, Edgy Princess, Half Drag, Feather Pen, College Pajama, Grammys J. Lo., Wacky Sox, ’90s Boyfriend — you’re going to have to learn how to master it. A few years ago, mastering a particular fashion trend could get a bit tricky — “How big are the UFO pants supposed to be? And am I supposed to buy just orange or orange + camo?” are questions you may have found yourself asking during the UFO pants trend of 1999. (Tip: Saggy in the waist, over some fun boyshorts, with as wide a leg as possible. As for the camo — what do you think!!) Luckily we live in the age of YouTube, so there’s no end in instructional punk-for-girls videos that’ll teach you everything you need to know about dressing your bes–I mean, worst!

So there you have it, girls. Pretty easy stuff we’re dealing with here. Basically the main take-aways are:

  1. Anything that normal people wouldn’t do. So when you see anything, think, would a normal person wear this? If the answer is “no,” then wear it. Would a normal person wear a mixing bowl, for example? Would a normal person wear baby clothes? Would a normal person wear their clothes upside down AND backwards? Would a normal person wear the same shirt and pants combination every day while cutting just a little off the sleeves and bottoms of the pants every day to see when people start noticing? You see where I’m going here, girls. This isn’t your first rodeo.
  2. Black.
  3. Dirty and like you don’t have a lot of money. This will be covered with the wearing the same clothes every day, if you decide to go with that option.
  4. Heavy, heavy jewelry. Basically for this you go into a jewelry store and ask what is their heaviest jewelry. “What jewelry can I buy that weighs the most?” you might ask. They might look at you funny, but don’t worry — That just means your look is working. If they pretend to not know which item of jewelry they have that weighs the most, ask them to get the scale out of the back. They pretend they don’t have a scale in the back? Bologna, tell them. Then how do they weigh the jewelry every night? You got them there. Purchase the top five heaviest pieces of jewelry you can find and put them on immediately.
  5. You wouldn’t be a punk without any-with studs. Self explanatory.

So there you have it, girls — punk in under three minutes. Now go out there and show off your style, after all, you deserve it! m/ (Via OHYST.)