Late-Night-Talk-Show-Host Jokes About Katie Holmes’ Charlie Rose Interview

By Kelly Conaboy / August 26, 2011

Katie Holmes appeared on Charlie Rose last night, to talk about her role in Guillermo del Toro’s Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. She said some glowing things about Guillermo — “When it comes to Guillermo, you say yes because it’s Guillermo. He’s incredible.” — which, you know, sure, but then also she said some bologna about how the script was too scary:

When I did read the script, I was terrified just reading the script. And I kept hearing noises in our house, and I would wake up at three in the morning and I’m like — Oh my God, I think somebody’s here.

Oh, COME ON, Katie. While I don’t think that this is true because nothing is ever true that a celebrity says because the world is a vampire and you can’t trust anyone these days especially when they’re an actress and what they’re saying also serves to advertise how scary the movie their promoting is, I do think that this is a great opportunity to write some late-night-talk-show-host style jokes about it! PERFECT.

  • Did you hear what Katie Holmes said about reading the script for her new movie, Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark? That it was so scary she’d wake up at night thinking somebody was there. Turns out it was just Tom Cruise coming in from his separate bedroom to borrow her slippers.
  • Did you hear what Katie Holmes said about reading the script for her new movie, Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark? She said it gave her nightmares — She said she even had one where she had SEX WITH HER HUSBAND.
  • Did you hear what Katie Holmes said about reading the script for her new movie, Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark? She said it was so scary, she’d wake up in the middle of the night thinking someone was there. Tom Cruise said that there was zero amount of proof that she thought this. That was a scientology joke, FOLKS! They can’t all be winners. Can we try that one again?
  • Did you hear what Katie Holmes said about reading the script for her new movie, Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark? She said it was so scary that it made her think she was hearing noises in her house. Turns out it was just the ghost of her marriage’s believability.
  • Did you hear what Katie Holmes said about reading the script for her new movie, Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark? That when she’d read it in bed at night, it was too scary. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” said Tom Cruise. “Getting into bed with Katie at night is ALWAYS scary.”

Very funny jokes! (Via Vulture.)