The first day a movie poster is officially released is a very exciting day in the life of any film fan. What will it look like? Will I like it? Will there be a tagline included? What will the tagline be? Will there be one tagline or will there be a million? Where will it be situated on the poster? Will it be in a readable font? TOO readable? All the usual questions every film fan asks themself before their first official viewing of a movie poster. So you would think that today, the day when the poster for the new Danielle Radcliffe movie The Woman In Black was released, would be an exciting day. That movie actually looks very good I think! Even Gabe said he thought it looked pretty good, and he doesn’t even LIKE scary movies. So SURELY the poster won’t disappoint us, its anxiously awaiting public. RIGHT? COMPUTER? CAN YOU ENHANCE THE POSTER IMAGE FOR ME PLEASE?
Uhhhhhh, WHAT? From my knowledge of the film industry, someone got paid roughly two million dollars worth of prostitutes and cocaine to write that tagline, and THAT’S what we get? “Do you believe in ghosts?” Very insulting. First of all, YES I BELIEVE IN GHOSTS. What do I look like? The biggest idiot? Second of all, that is the laziest tagline I have ever seen! Lazier even than THIS TAGLINE AND ALSO THIS TAGLINE which seemed, up until this moment, like they would be battling each other for the title of Lazy Tagline King forever and ever until they were the only two things left on the planet and they had to repopulate the Earth with lots of even lazier, tiny taglines. Right? That makes sense? Anyway, “Do you believe in ghosts?” could and HAS been the tagline to every single movie about ghosts ever made. Every single one! I’m not going to bother verifying that because that would be an insulting waste of all of our times, but let’s just trust it and move on to the real thing that I’m trying to get to here: Even lazier taglines for The Woman In Black!:
- What did I just see in my peripheral vision?
- Do you?
- Featuring Harry Potter’s Daniel Radcliffe.
- Do you believe?
- Period piece ghost movie.
- Carriage rides, coattails, and…GHOSTS!
- This is a scary movie.
- Are ghosts real or fake?
- A ghost movie set in the past.
I’m not even sure if these are lazier, but they’re certainly at least JUST as lazy. (Image via PopCultureBrain.)