BREAKING NEWS STORY! BREAKING NEWS STORY! INTERNATIONAL HEADLINES READ: “GERARD DEPARDIEU PEES ON CARPET OF AIR FRANCE PLANE”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FROM THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER:
[Gerard Depardieu] urinated on the carpet of an Air France plane in front of passengers Wednesday when the cabin crew asked him to wait 15 minutes to use the restrooms. The plane was delayed in Paris, and due to fly to Dublin. “Je veux pisser, je veux pisser,” Depardieu, 62, was overheard telling flight attendants, according to a passenger’s recollection on French radio station Europe 1 (via the Associated Press).
“The attendant said ‘I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait fifteen minutes, [when] we’ll be in flight. The toilets are locked’,” the passenger, Daniele, said. Instead, Depardieu said he couldn’t wait, unzipped his pants and peed on the carpet in front of all the passengers.
The plane returned to the gate and was delayed for two hours while the mess was cleaned up.
“JE VEUX PISSER! JE VEUX PISSER!” – Gerard Depardieu’s Tombstone (Also My Tombstone)
Well, we might as well shut down the News Factory and turn time off because this is my favorite story for the next FOREVER. So good. From now on if you ever hear anyone describe anything as being “good” or “funny” as them if it is as good and as funny as this story, because the answer will almost certainly be no. (Fun back and forth. Good questions! You seem fun to talk to!) Can you get married to a news story? “What can I say, she always makes me laugh and I just love her so much. My life started when I first read her.” That is me on the beaches of Hawaii renewing my vows to this story in 20 years. Ball is in your toilet, Hugh Jackman.