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Being Annoying Is Adorable

By Kelly Conaboy / July 18, 2011 - 11:00 am

One thing that people really like — significant others especially, but also just people in general — is when you, out of love, annoy them incessantly. It’s adorable and endearing and charming and no one ever has any problems with it. Are you doing it just to get a reaction? Are you doing it because you’re bored? Are you doing it because, I don’t know, you just can’t hold it in for some reason? It doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you’re doing it and everyone loves it. Like the puppy in this video, you keep pressing, letting your actions build and build on the person at which they’re aimed until they’re forced to pay attention to you, even though maybe it is the last thing they want to do because they’ve learned that if they just ignore you, you eventually stop.

Awwww, puppy! You’re the best. You are adorable and you have won us all over, especially your cat friend, unless he actually kills you at the end, it is kind of unclear. Here are some other proven ways to get people to like you:

  • When they yawn and have their eyes closed, put your finger in their mouth. Every time, even though they’ve sincerely asked you to stop doing that many times in the past.
  • Make lots of sound effects for whatever they’re doing.
  • Suggest, over and over again, that they just throw anything they’re having a problem with in the garbage.
  • Sing a large portion of a popular song and then just when they think you’ve stopped, continue singing it.
  • If you’re at a store with them, pick up every item and ask if they want it.
  • If you’re at a store with them, pick up every item and ask if they’d like you to buy it for them.
  • Make weird sounds.
  • Answer their questions way before they finish the question. And then maybe after they’ve finished the question, repeat the joke answer you gave when you interrupted them and insist that that is the correct answer.
  • Insist that you don’t know what they’re talking about, when obviously you know what they’re talking about.
  • If they accidentally do something that could have hurt you physically but it didn’t, really act like it hurt you a lot.
  • If they tell you not to do something, you ask, “Wait. DON’T do it, or DO do it?”
  • If they tell you a long story, respond only by referencing something in pop culture that has the same word in it as one of the last words they said. This one might be difficult so I’ll give an example. Say they tell you a long story that ends in the sentence: “So yeah, I don’t know, I just figured I’d lend a hand because they’be done so much for me in the past. It’s the least I can do, really.” You respond with, “Cool Hand Luke.”

I could go on and on, really. It’s an endless list. (Via VVV.)