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Predicting Tonight’s Terrible Jay Leno Monologue Jokes

Gabe Delahaye | May 2, 2011 - 3:30 pm

This is a pretty big day for the Obama administration, but it’s quite possibly an even BIGGER day for Jay Leno (no it is not). He will inevitably address the death of Osama Bin Laden during his opening monologue on The Jay Leno Show tonight. But how? What will he say? Here are some suggestions:

  • “Osama Bin Laden is dead, but Donald Trump still wants to see the death certificate.”
  • “Does this mean I get to wear an EXTRA pair of shoes when I go through airport security?”
  • “It was reported that after his body was identified, Osama Bin Laden was buried at sea. Now America faces a new enemy: upset fish!”
  • “The death of Osama Bin Laden marks the end of a 10 year manhunt. Now the government can turn its attention to other pressing issues, like who shot J.R. and where is the beef?”
  • “Osama Bin Laden was found living in a million dollar compound with 15 foot high walls covered in barbed wire. No word on whether or not he had an airplane hangar filled with hundreds of antique cars.”

Lucky for Jay, even if he doesn’t quite nail it tonight, he can (and will) just keep trying for the next 10 years. Replace two or three Monica Lewinsky jokes from each night’s monologue with Osama Bin Laden jokes and keep chipping away at the thing until he’s got it perfect.