Videogum

EXCLUSIVE: First Look At The Bill & Ted 3 Screenplay

Gabe Delahaye | April 25, 2011 - 5:30 pm

It was reported earlier today that there is now a completed script for a third Bill and Ted movie that would find Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter reprising their iconic rolls from the time-traveling buddy comedies of the early 90s. Even more exciting, Videogum has an EXCLUSIVE first look at the script! Read a dramatic scene from Bill and Ted’s Lipitor Prescription after the jump:

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

BILL and TED are forced to share a hospital room together as they undergo tests for their old person diseases. Bill is surrounded by his friends and family, and his side of the room is filled with flowers and encouraging cards and balloons. Ted is a grouchy billionaire who doesn’t have anyone to care for him. It just goes to show you, money really can’t buy everything. SUDDENLY, George Carlin appears in a magic time-traveling phonebooth. Bill looks up from his book of Sudoku and pulls his bifocals down the bridge of his nose.

GEORGE CARLIN
I’m dead!

George Carlin’s corpse falls out of the time traveling phonebooth onto the ground.

TED
I can hardly remember where I put my car keys in the morning, much less this guy’s name. I tell you, my memory is NOT what it used to be. What is his name again?

BILL
Rufus?

TED
What’s that?

BILL
I said I think his name is Rufus!

TED
This damn thing.

Ted adjusts the volume on his hearing aid. The Battle of the Bands is coming up. Bill dozes off. He wakes up for a second but then he dozes off again. Everyone takes some Lipitor.

BILL
With this phone booth, we can travel anywhere in time. We can win the Battle of the Bands. We can KILL HITLER!

TED
The what?

BILL
The Battle of the Bands, I said.

TED
The what?!

BILL
Oh forget it.

TED
I want to travel back in time to when I was in my 20s and my body wasn’t riddled with disease and my knees worked and my back didn’t ache, when the world was filled with hope and promise and I wasn’t just a lonely old man, lying in a hospital bed with no one to care about him because he sacrificed his humanity for a pile of useless money.

BILL
I care about you, old friend.

TED
What?

BILL
I said, I still care about you, old friend!

TED
This blasted thing.

Ted fiddles some more with his hearing aide. Bill farts and falls asleep and farts in his sleep. Rufus’s body begins to stink.

CUT TO:

EXT. GETTYSBURG PENNSYLVANIA – DAY

Abraham Lincoln finishes giving his famous Gettysburg Address and takes his seat. Macy Gray performs an original song from the soundtrack.

Sounds like a pretty exciting movie!