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Coach Taylor Vs. Ned Stark: Who Molds Young Men Better?!

Gabe Delahaye | April 25, 2011 - 1:30 pm

Last night, the second episode of Game of Thrones aired. What a good show! “It’s disgusting.” Yes! It IS disgusting! In the best possible way. And so much intrigue: who will get taken from behind, possibly against their will, next?! Meanwhile, on Friday, the second episode of the final season of Friday Night Lights aired. Holy moly. “State.” Remember that? “State.” Chills. You show them, Lions. Show them all. Of course, no two shows could be more different than Game of Thrones and Friday Night Lights (“Clear wizards, full dragons, can’t rape”), and yet, both shows feature the strong-willed shapers of men: Lord Ned Stark of Winterfell, and Coach Eric Taylor of the East Dillon Lions. Both of these noble warriors stand firm in the face of adversity, and provide others with hope and confidence through their quiet, steely resolve. The question is WHO MOLDS YOUNG MEN BETTER?!

Lord Ned Stark of Winterfell
-The hand of the king
-Wears a lot of fur
-“Winter is coming”
-Took in the bastard John Snow
-Let everyone have a pet direwolf
-Watched his sons practicing archery
-Made Bran witness an execution
-Stood up to the king in defense of his daughter because that prince is shitty
-Hates Jaime Lannister
-Killed a direwolf even though he didn’t want to
-Won’t talk to John Snow about his mother until the time is right
-Rode for King’s Landing

Coach Eric Taylor of East Dillon, Texas
-Texas State Champion 2006
-Wears a lot of wraparound Oakleys
-“Never take your helmet off on my field again”
-Took in Tim Riggins that one time
-Let Julie have a pet Matt Saracen
-Helped rehabilitate Smash Williams’s knee himself
-Made the whole team run suicide sprints in the rain
-Stood up to Joe McCoy in defense of JD McCoy even though JD McCoy is shitty
-Love/Hates Buddy Garrity
-Spoke before the schoolboard even though he hates that stuff and his record speaks for itself
-Tends to not talk to anyone about anything until the time is right
-Wrote “State” on the dry erase board

And the stoic hero who molds young men best is….Coach Taylor. This is still America, nerds. That being said, Ned Stark is better at shaping Frodos into Gandalfs. ACCIO MORE EPISODES OF THESE GREAT SHOWS!