More Jersey Shore Rules

By Gabe Delahaye / April 20, 2011

As you may know, the next season of Jersey Shore will be filmed in Italy, which, well, right. When the first season of this show aired, some people complained that it portrayed Italian-Americans in a negative light, and I always disagreed with that, because the “Italian” aspect of these creatures was easily the least defined, least important, and least interesting. Sure, there was that painting on the garage door, I guess, but mostly these were just a particular breed of Human American Garbage that had nothing to do with their heritage. But now they are going to Italy. Neat! In response, the mayor of Florence, where the cast will be living, has issued four actual rules that the show must follow:

  • “The cast will not be filmed in bars and clubs that serve alcohol.”
  • “The cast will not be filmed drinking in public.”
  • “The show will not be filmed to promote Florence as a drinking town.”
  • “The show should be filmed in a manner to promote Italy (not Americans visiting Italy) and feature its culture and good food.”

Haha. Good luck! Hey, while you are at it, here are a few more Bill Maher’s New Rules you should get the cast to follow:

  • “The cast’s t-shirts will be simple and plain.”
  • “The cast will not finger each other in hot tubs out of sheer boredom.”
  • “The cast does not need to be smarter than it is, but it will stop wearing its stupidity on its sleeve like a badge of honor.”
  • “Ronni and Sammi will stop it because they are boring.”
  • “The show will not promote drinking sports drinks with dinner.”
  • “The show will promote Florence as a cultural town full of good food, and NOT as a great place to petulantly punch your woman in the face.”
  • “Each episode will begin and end with a formal apology.”

Better.