Duh Aficionado Magazine: DVDs Are Not That Fun

By Gabe Delahaye / April 18, 2011

The whole piracy issue is mildly complicated. I mean, it’s not actually that complicated. Taking the work of other people without paying for it is illegal and wrong and don’t ever do it. On the other hand, the people in charge of the culture industry have been charging unrealistic and exorbitant prices for decades and living in Beverly Hills mansions and Lenny Kravitz-decorated Miami beach houses. CDs, for example, were supposed to come down in price after the original investment in the technology was repaid, but instead, they remained 12-18 dollars for 20 years. That is ridiculous! I’m not saying this is the market correcting itself, because it’s not. It’s people acting self-entitled and greedy and taking whatever they want with the click of a button because they CAN. But the pressure to curb piracy is certainly not, as is often explained, in order to provide artists with appropriate compensation for their work. Please. No one gives, or ever has given, a fuck about the artists. The pressure to curb piracy stems directly from the broken heated-passenger seat in David Geffen’s private jet needing service from the Private Jet Heated Passenger Seat Repair Man. Anyway, it is ultimately a relatively gentle moral issue with which we all now must struggle in this era of overwhelmingly “free” content, but one thing is for sure: this comparison between a group of people enjoying a “real” DVD and some sad slob hating himself for downloading a “fake” movie is hilarious and ridiculous:

Haha. Right. Nailed it! So fun watching DVDs with a bunch of stupid idiots. Have fun in your Office of Sadness, thief! Thank goodness there is no more illegal piracy. Problem solved. CASE CLOSED!