Jay-Z has launched his own Goop-like “lifestyle website.” THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE?
“I Got 99 Problems and my 2000-thread count Egyptian Cotton bed sheets I bought on a weekend trip through Soho ain’t one.”
Jay-Z, just make your own Tumblr and call it a day. Yeesh.
“tweets is watching”
I heard next week he’ll be singing and dancing suggestively in front of all the young men on Glee.
“Hi Everyone! Just a quick note from your Uncle Jay, Re: Hoes – Please, take them out the hood, keep them looking good, but don’t fucking feed them. It’s about BALANCE. Ok, dodging off to the gym!”
Just the other day I was thinking “R2, why don’t your ties come in a custom made wooden box? That’s just such a sensible and environmentally friendly way to package neckwear!”
Just when you’re starting to think you’re the only sane one on Earth, Jay-Z comes along to remind you that you’re not alone.
My Favorite part of Jay-Z’s lifestyle website is where he shows me how to murder a Goat in the proscribed fashion to yield the greatest profits over the coming year
“The times when you saw
only one set of e-foot steps,
is when I was out to lunch at Spago.”
Gimme that sweet, that nasty, that goopy stuff.
Oh forget it.
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