Extra! Extra!

starlee kine | March 17, 2011 - 12:39 pm

When I was in college, I had a couple roommates who were film students. They were going through headshots for some short they were making and they came across a guy whose had all these small credits, but the one that stuck out most to my was was this one: Dog Day Afternoon – Pizza Delivery Guy.

In case you don’t remember, Dog Day Afternoon is a movie about Al Pacino back when he was a good actor and John Calaze back when he was the love of Meryl Streep’s life and Chris Sarandon when he was also a real actor, so real in fact that he was married to Susan Sarandon who still has his last name even though we all keep forgetting that part. It’s just too hard to wrap our minds around.

Dog Day Afternoon did not star the dude who played Pizza Delivery Guy. His scene was maybe thirty seconds long. Al Pacino and John Cazale order pizzas for their hostages. The pizza guy walks over, hands over the pizzas, walks off. You can barely make out his face, it all happens so fast. Which is exactly why it was the perfect crime. Because…you see…it was a total lie. He hadn’t been the Pizza Delivery Guy at all. We rented Dog Day Afternoon and watched it still by still on our VHS player and it wasn’t him. It was the greatest fake movie role lie ever. My roommates were so impressed that they ended up casting him.

I bring all this up because this montage of that’s been floating around since yesterday. Meet Jesse Heiman, the extra whose been in everything:

I was excited when I first read the title: World’s Greatest Extra. That felt sweet and charming. I’d thought I’d see some old man hobbling about, sitting on park benches, dabbing the sweat gently off his brow with an actual handkerchief. Instead, I got this kid.

How do I put this? Doesn’t he seem just a little… smug?  Too in on the joke. Somehow too much of an overdog to be a true underdog.

Another question: how can his life not be exactly like the movie Cyrus?  How can he not be trying to take Jonah Hill down, now that he sees that the world is actually quite kind to exactly the type of dude that he is.   Is Jonah Hill *not* married to Jesse Heiman’s mom and are they *not* living together in a house? Because if that’s the case, I am very confused about the plot of this kid’s life.