Bill O’Reilly Would Like To Know Where The Moon Came From, Please

Gabe Delahaye | February 2, 2011 - 11:15 am

Did you know that Bill O’Reilly answers viewer questions in behind-the-scenes vlog-style videos that he posts on YouTube? If you knew that you shouldn’t have known that. What’s up with you knowing that? You are just googling Bill O’Reilly all day? Take it easy. I’m just saying you should get a hobby or something. At the very least, you should Google better things. Anyway, in a recent video, a viewer sends in a question about tides, namely, why does Bill O’Reilly use tides as an example of God’s existence. HAHA, GOOD QUESTION, DAVE! I did not know he did that. It’s a weird thing to do! For one thing, there is no proof of God’s existence, right? Isn’t that kind of God’s whole thing, leaving it up to you to “believe”? But the only thing that is funnier than the fact that Bill O’Reilly uses tides as proof of the existence of God is Bill O’Reilly’s explanation for why he does that:

WHO PUT THE MOON THERE? Open your eyes, sheeple! Holy cow is Bill O’Reilly a stupid jerk or what? Look, the tendentious debate over whether or not God exists is an important one, because people feel really strongly about it, AH-NO-DOY, and it is also important because of how it leads to, you know, wars ‘n’ stuff? And I will say that Bill O’Reilly’s underlying argument that the complexity of our world as we understand it is staggering and that our fundamental explanations for this complexity based in both biological evolution and the big bang theory of the Universe’s creation, while VERY compelling, do not entirely account for all of the questions that we might have. But no matter what you might believe or want to believe on either side of this all-consuming issue, I’m pretty sure the very least compelling and convincing argument I’ve ever heard in my entire life is a condescending and dismissively barked “C’mon.” And the second least-compelling and convincing argument I’ve ever heard in my entire life is a condescending and dismissively barked “I mean, c’mon.” Hahhaha.

Bill O’Reilly is an asshole.