Look, kids are adorable and say the darndest things and they are our future, or whatever, and when they grow up they’re all going to be a firetruck. But there’s also the other side of the whole kid thing. You know, the side where they are the worst. I’m just saying, kids don’t know almost anything, they have terrible taste, and they don’t even pay rent. What’s the point?! And now they’re eating tacos made out of spaghetti? Enough. From the New York Times:
On an episode of the hit Nickelodeon series “iCarly,” the lead character’s eccentric older brother, Spencer, makes dinner one night. Glimpsed on screen, the dish consists of red-sauce-coated pasta stuffed into hard taco shells. What could be more unappealing?
That punch line has now become part of American children’s cuisine, fostering a legion of imitators and improvisers across the country. Spurred on by reruns, Internet traffic, slumber parties and simple old-fashioned word of mouth among children, spaghetti tacos are all the rage. Especially if you’re less than 5 feet tall and live with your mother.
Mom blogs and cooking Web sites are filled with recipes from dozens of desperate parents who have been confronted with how to feed their offspring the popular gag. A Facebook page has sprung up with more than 1,200 fans.
Do you see what I mean? Here’s how dumb kids are: they don’t even know the difference between a joke and a real food. (Admittedly, there are lots of adults who don’t know the difference either, and would love to have you over to their “Cuisine of Magnum P.I.” dinner party in Williamsburg to show you just how much they don’t know the difference, but I’m pretty sure these spaghetti taco idiots [idiots=children] are not being IRONIC.)
To make matters worse, kids are also FUCKING LIARS:
After seeing them on the show, Amelia was served the tacos at a friend’s slumber party this year and then begged her mom to make them.
“The mixture of spaghetti and tacos is odd,” Amelia admitted. “But it’s actually pretty good. They’re one of my favorite foods. I guess kids like making them because they think it’s cool to be like the people from ‘iCarly.’ ”
But the real reason, she said, is that “the taste is really, really good.”
No, Amelia. That is not the real reason. Stop lying. And go to your room. EVERYONE GO TO YOUR ROOM. Especially you, Cammie Ward Moise.
Cammie Ward Moise, a Houston mom who featured the tacos on her parenting site, Moms Material, under the heading “Crazy Dinner Night,” said she doesn’t just make them for her kids, but also enjoys them herself. Still, she adds: “It’s a great thing to make, especially when you’re having the food battles at home. It’s a fun way to get them excited about eating.”
Her children, Taylor, 11, and Myles, 9, love the dish, she said. “It’s something their idol is doing,” she said. “They love ‘iCarly’ and would probably eat anything the cast of the show ate.”
“Now,” Ms. Moise said, “we just have to get her to put broccoli in a taco.”
“SHE DOESN’T JUST MAKE THEM FOR HER KIDS, BUT SHE ALSO ENJOYS THEM HERSELF.” Good job, GROWN UP ADULT. Gross. Give yourself a timeout, Cammie Ward Moise. Think about what you’ve done. And if you want your kids to eat broccoli, you should just give them some and tell them to eat it. It’s called parenting. IMDB it. (Thanks for the tip, Beau.)