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Teen Korner: Preparing For Next Week’s Twilight: Eclipse Premiere

By Gabe Delahaye / June 25, 2010 - 11:45 am

YO POKEMONS, ARE YOU IN THIS LINE? I’M ASSUMING YOU ARE IN THIS LINE. EVERYONE IS HERE. WE HAVE OUR TENTS AND OUR SLEEPING BAGS AND OUR LIP GLOSS AND OUR ZUNES. IF YOU AREN’T IN THIS LINE RIGHT NOW I BET YOUR HEAD IS FALLING OFF LOL BUT IF YOU ARE IN THIS LINE THEN I BET YOUR HEAD IS STILL FALLING OFF LOLOLOL. IT’S SO EXCITING I WANT TO BARF. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT IN JUST A FEW SHORT DAYS (ALTHOUGH I WISH THEY WERE SHORTERRRRRRRR) WE WILL BE WATCHING THE MOVIE ADAPTATION OF A BOOK WE READ? IT’S INSANE. I FEEL INSANE. THIS IS THE CRAZIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. AND THE BEST. I WISH I COULD MARRY THE WAY THAT I FEEL RIGHT NOW. ANYWAY, IF UR ALREADY IN THIS LINE THEN I SUPPOSE THIS LIST WON’T HELP U VERY MUCH, BUT IF YOU ARE IN YR MOM’S CAR, BEING DRIVEN DOWN 2 THE LINE BY YOUR MOM, THEN YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO STOP AT A WALGREEN’S OR A SAM’S CLUB OR KIM’S HOUSE AND GET A FEW LAST MINUTE SUPPLIES TO PREPARE 4 NEXT WEEK’S TWILIGHT:ECLIPSE PREMIERE. BEING PREPARED IS SUPER COOL AND ALL THE POPULAR KIDS ARE VERY PREPARED. CHECK IT OUT, NEAT DOGS:

IMPORTANT LIST:

1. NECK BANDAGES FOR YOUR HEAD IF IT FALLS OFF TO KEEP IT ON LOLOL (2 PACKS)
2. RAW HAMBURGER MEAT WEREWOLVES LOVE IT (10 LBS)
3. ROBERT PATTINSON VAMPIRE EDWARD TEAM EDWARD SHINY DILDO FOR AT NIGHT
4. ZUNE W/ ALL YOUR FAVE BLACK EYED PEAS SONGS ON IT
5. LIP GLOSS
6. DIARY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND DREAMS ABOUT MARRYING TAYLOR LAUTNER’S BODY
7. KRISTEN STEWART DARTBOARD HATE HER
8. DORA THE EXPLORER SLEEPING BAG AND MINI-BACKPACK
9. PICTURES OF YOUR CATS TO SHOW STRANGERS
10. WEDDING RING JUST IN CASE FOR SOME REASON ROBERT PATTINSON OR TAYLOR LAUTNER OR EVEN PETER FACINELLI SHOW UP SO THAT YOU CAN GET MARRIED TO THEM WITHOUT HAVING TO WAIT, YOU NEVER KNOW, OK, THINGS HAPPEN, STUFF HAPPENS

THAT SHOULD JUST ABOUT DO IT. P.S. DO NOT TRY AND CUT ME IN LINE OR I WILL MURDER YOU AND TAKE YOU OFF MY FACEBOOK.