Mark Wahlberg Hates You So Much

By Gabe Delahaye / June 8, 2010

Personally, I like Mark Wahlberg. He has a certain abs I MEAN CHARSIMA. Then again, he also created Entourage. And was in The Happening. I’m not saying he’s without flaws! He’s a human being just like the rest of us (we are all wealthy and attractive human beings with impossibly blessed careers in the entertainment industry, right?). There’s also the whole frat boy hate-crimer vibe he gives off at times, which is way uncool, dude. But for the most part, I like Mark Wahlberg. So why does he hate me so much? From MTV:

“I am more focused on making [an Entourage] movie than my own films,” Wahlberg said. “I just think we can make a great movie. I think people always wanted [it] and have complained that the episodes are too short — they’ve always wanted more. I think we’re going to do it.”

“I think we’re going to do it. We just have to end strong, and this season is, by far, the best season so far,” he said. “We’re going to have six episodes next year and end with a bang and then in the trailer you see [Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) and his associate, Lloyd] waking up together in Vegas not knowing what happened.”

Oh good grief. This guy knows what I’m talking about. Obviously, the stakes on Entourage are so low, they are covered in oil. Oxygen cannot get to them! But a Hangover-rip-off Ari and Lloyd big-screen adventure in Las Vegas sounds like a new low. “Will they find Ari’s Maserati in time for him to be disparaging to his wife over the phone, or will he unleash a tirade of ever-increasingly despicable homophobic slurs against his embattled but somehow still compliant assistant Lloyd while fiddling with his hair plugs?”

Mark Wahlberg, YOU ARE HURTING MY FEELINGS!