Videogum’s Teen Korner: The Taylor Lautner Abs Drama

Gabe Delahaye | February 26, 2010 - 12:49 pm

Yo yo yo yo yo yo!

Guys who know that you can have an openly deep and meaningful emotional relationship with another man without worrying about what other people will think because the important thing is being honest with yourself and homophobia is for losers, and girls who enjoy cooking because it’s fun and delicious and creative and NOT because someone else expects you to enjoy it, we have heard some news today that is a total summer bummer and very harsh on all of our chills. Uncool Ranch! But part of being an awesome teen with a future that is as bright as he or she is willing to make it is being able to face the truth, no matter how painful.

The news is in regards to Taylor Lautner, star of both Twilight: New Moon and the torn out magazine pages taped to the inside of your locker. There is no way to sugarcoat this, and I don’t think you would respect me very much if I did. Teens can sense posers from a skate park away. It has to do with his abs, homies.

Apparently? In some of the Twilight: New Moon posters n’ stuff? His head was totally, like, Photoshopped onto the body of a different werewolf?

I’m not angry at Taylor Lautner or Stephanie Meyer or vampires, I would say I’m disappointed? Your guys’s bodies are going through a lot changes right now, and one of those changes it that it gets harder and harder to just, liiiike, trust in stuff, yk? And it’s like, what was even the point of Taylor Lautner putting on 30 pounds of lean muscle for acting in the first place? But mostly I just feel bad for you respectful guys and empowered young women who are just emerging from your cocoons into unique butterflies, you know? We should have done better by you. First we ruined the environment and now this. (Via PhotoshopDisasters.)

UPDATE: Apparently, the Taylor Lautner Photoshop is a fan-made poster. But that does not change the fact that your bodies are going through a lot of changes right now. So many changes.