Duh Aficionado Magazine: Haiti Doesn’t Need John Travolta’s Planefull Of Scientologists

By Gabe Delahaye / January 26, 2010

What is happening in Haiti right now is a human tragedy on a scale that is difficult to comprehend. I read in the New York Times this weekend that 150,000 bodies have been buried? We live in a sad and meaningless world of pain and suffering. Obviously, this badly damaged country needs a lot of help in the recovery process, but, no offense, it doesn’t need John Travolta’s help, or the help of his Scientology friends. From the AP:

John Travolta is flying to Haiti with earthquake relief.

The 55-year-old actor and avid pilot plans to fly one of his private jets from Florida to Haiti on Monday night, according to Travolta’s spokesman, Paul Bloch. The “Pulp Fiction” star will be joined by his actress-wife Kelly Preston, several doctors and Church of Scientology ministers, as well as relief supplies. Travolta and Preston will then return to the U.S.

Travolta took his first flying lesson when he was 15.

Obviously, the desire to actually DO something to help out in a crisis is noble (kind of, although one always wonders just what the Scientologists plan to do. “We’re going to need a couple million E-meters if we’re going to audit all of the survivors for thetans”). But the country needs professional help from teams familiar with crisis management and large scale disaster, not two bronzer-slathered fake-married celebrities who don’t believe in medicine, or whatever. And it DEFINITELY doesn’t need Church of Scientology ministers. Why can’t John Travolta just text HAITI to 90999 like the rest of us. If he really wants to do something to help, he can text HAITI to 90999 a few hundred thousand times.

The only hope I have from this whole thing is that the Pulitzer Prize Committee sees this article. Because that last sentence in an article about a Haiti relief effort, however misguided or self-serving, deserves all of them.