Duh Aficionado Magazine: Don’t Listen To Megan Fox

Gabe Delahaye | January 7, 2010 - 9:22 am

The first issue of Duh Aficionado magazine in the new year is a return to the publication’s mission statement: “NO DUH.” Today’s story involves a certain actress’s hilariously insane nightmare dieting tips that no one actually takes seriously, right? RIght. From the Herald Sun:

The Transformers star has been blasted for hailing the benefits of swigging vinegar.

She recently said, “It just cleanses out your system entirely.

“It will get rid of … for women who retain water weight from your menstrual cycle and all that … it gets rid of it really fast.

“I’m not one for dieting or exercising, because I’m lazy and I have a really big sweet tooth, so I have to do cleanses every once in a while ’cause of the amount of sugar I take in.”

However, experts in the field have dismissed Megan’s claims, insisting there is not a single form of vinegar in existence that will help dieters lose weight.

Experts in the field of Diet Vinegar dismissed Megan’s claims. You know who else dismissed Megan’s claims? Everyone. The idea that Megan Fox is even in charge of what goes into her body in the first place is already laughable. I’m sure that Paramount Pictures bought the international rights to Megan Fox’s daily maintenance years ago, and if anything happens to her appearance, a bullet will be deposited in the now useless Megan Fox’s head, and a fresh and perfect 6th Day Surrogate Megan Fox will be brought on-line.

Of course, there is the argument to be made that Megan Fox is some kind of role model to young women, and that society’s trumpeting of her physical beauty suggests that hers is an ideal others should strive for, therefore lending credence and legitimacy to her goofball diet “tips.” Sure. But maybe instead of worrying that young women are now going to start chugging bottles of Progresso Red Wine Vinegar at the mall, we should be more worried about YOUNG WOMEN BEING SO STUPID THAT THEY THINK EATING CAKE AND DRINKING VINEGAR EVEN MAKES SENSE AS A THING. Let’s get these young women off of the streets and into schools, where even a fundamental THIRD GRADE EDUCATION will show that HUH?

Of course, a counter argument to the above argument is that it’s 2010, and maybe we should start treating women with enough respect that we do not get so worried that they are going to take their health care advice from a throwaway interview with a woman whose main claim to fame is running away from space robots that are also sometimes trucks.