The holidays may be a great time to watch movies, but it is apparently a terrible time for new movie trailers, based on the new movie trailers that appeared over the past couple of weeks. (It is called cleaning house, and we are doing a great job of it.) It’s already bad enough that it’s basically impossible to see a new movie trailer at the actual movies these days. That used to be half of the fun (I’m bad at math), wondering what glimpses of the exciting future you would be privy to at a new movie. Nowadays you have already (read: I have already) seen everything on-line. NO SURPRISES IN THIS LIFE. But if that is the case, the movie trailers could at least be GOOD. Even a movie that is obviously going to be terrible should be able to pull out a halfway decent movie trailer. It is two minutes and you’re both allowed and encouraged to use all the best parts.
Nevertheless, there was no saving the trailers for Cop Out, Sex and the City 2, or Knight and Day, all of which are after the jump.
Um, obviously Sex and the City 2 already looked miserable. But the voice over in this trailer is really Next Level Bad. “It’s been two years, and in two years amazing things can happen, things that you would never thought would happen in a million years.” That sentence was seriously written by a mentally retarded 0-year-old. Excuse me, Mr. Pulitzer, do you give out awards for amazing sentences in movie trailers, and I have a follow up? How many Pulitzers do you give away for amazing sentences in movie trailers, because here’s another one: “And just when you think that you’ve seen it all, it hits you: you haven’t seen anything yet.”
Yiiiiiiikes. It is a good thing that Tracy Morgan has had his “Videogum Promise” in effect for years, because a promise is a promise, and that is going to keep him out of Videogum Jail forever, but also YIIIIIIIIIIKES.
Get it? It’s like Mr. and Mrs. Smith but even worse. Do you remember how Mr. and Mrs. Smith was really bad? Imagine if it was worse than that. That is what this is.
At least the new Inception trailer is pretty good? These other trailers stink! Let’s get back on track to being great, 2010!