Videogum’s Teen Korner: Kristen Stewart IS A Vampire In The Runaways

By Gabe Delahaye / December 17, 2009

1-800-COLLECT!

Yo cool dudes who are interested in redefining masculinity away from a dull-witted focus on sex and violence into something more three-dimensional and emotionally engaged, and girls who love them for it but not at the expense of their own individuality and personal development! Do you like rock n’ roll? Sure you do. Everybody loves rock n’ roll. In-line skates! But did you know that before Blink 182 and Avril Lavigne and the Goo Goo Dolls there were other rock n’ roll bands? In fact, some of the people who used to love rock n’ roll are your parents’ age, or even older than your parents. Ew, yuck, that is so grody, right? Well, it might be grody, but it is also Important History.

Now, I know that you have probably already heard about Kristen Stewart’s upcoming movie The Runaways. You probably got a SEXT about it in homeroom, and you were like, “nunh-unh.” But did you also know that The Runaways is actually based on a true life story like IRL OMG 4 sure? Yup. It’s about a group of grandmas who used to not be grandmas, and they hung out and did fun stuff just like you like to do now, cars and stuff, long before they had kids or got depressed or died or something. And the best part is they look like vampires kind of. VAMPIRES AWESOME! It actually can be fun to learn HERSTORY.

Very cool, very neat! All the womyn, indypyndynt, throw your hands up at my. Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart should be in all the movies together. Probably!