Videogum

The Takers Poster Is The Worst Poster Ever Made

By Gabe Delahaye / September 10, 2009 - 2:46 pm

We have seen some pretty poorly Photoshopped movie posters in the past, but I think that this Takers poster is the saddest of the whole bunch. There is phoning it in, and then there is this.

I mean, look, we all know that Hayden Christensen and T.I. have busy schedules, what with being engaged to Rachel Bilson and being engaged to prison (respectively). And Chris Brown was probably out shopping for bowties and knuckle bandages. You’re not going to be able to get all these guys in the same place at the same time (why, it would cost literally a fraction of the millions-dollar budget of the movie to ensure that the cast appeared for a lazy afternoon of bagels and photoshoots. You people expect the impossible!*). I recognize that in the fast-paced world of the Movie Posters Biz, sometimes you have to stitch the cast together from separate images of the individual cast members in order to create a cohesive image.

BUT TO LITERALLY PHOTOSHOP SOME OF THEIR FACES ONTO RANDOM BODIES? I feel like a Victorian statesman being confronted with a waxless handlebar moustache. SOME THINGS JUST ARE NOT DONE, SIR. I would like to take this poster out to the polo fields and I would like to shoot this poster in the head with a dueling pistol!

Enhance.

Poor TI. Maybe instead of shopping for illegal automatic weapons with silencers on his way to the BET Awards he should have shopped for medicine to cure his giant floating detachable head. Surely the judge would have shown some compassion in that case!

Enhance.

The best part about Hayden Christensen’s photo is that while his head is obviously Photoshopped (or Macpainted) onto someone else’s body, he’s definitely wearing that hat. He was insistent that the photographer get a nice clean shot of him wearing his favorite hat. “Did you get the hat?” he kept saying all day. “I got the hat,” the photographer would say back. “Well just make sure you get the hat,” he would say.

Enhance.

This one has to be the most egregious. Paul Walker probably did this himself. They got the poster almost complete but they didn’t have a usable photo of Paul Walker, and he insisted that he was a whiz on the computer and he could just take a picture himself and seamlessly blend it in. But he forgot that he didn’t even have a computer. And in the end, in a bout of cocaine-fueled frustraion, he ended up just taping a photo that he took with a disposable camera on with masking tape. They were barely able to clean off the peanut butter fingerprints before sending this to the printer.

Unbelievable. (Poster via ComingSoon.net.)

*Sarcasm.