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Piecing Together Gossip Girl Season 3 From These Five Clues

Gabe Delahaye | September 2, 2009 - 4:39 pm

First, your honor, I present the evidence.

Article 1:

BUT WAIT, DOCTOR JUDGE, THERE IS MORE OF THIS:

Evidence piece #29:

Bloody Knife!

I am going to throw the book at this evidence!

And before I rest my case…

So, in summation, Dan Humphrey lives at his ex-girlfriend’s house because that is a normal thing that people in high school do and is a sign of Rufus Humphrey’s good parenting. Serena Van Der Woodsen has become a favorite of the international paparazzi much to Blair’s tart displeasure, and one of the paparazzi (on the right) is basically a murderer, look at his face. Nate has taken up a job putting on all the make up. What better way to meet women in helicopters (the hottest new nightclubs are helicopters probably now). He loves to read the New Yorker Blobserver for all the latest political newz. Meanwhile, Chuck Bass is so rich that he can dress like a bellhop, and seems to have circulation problems (it can never be too hot? It can often be too hot, you should go to a doctor!). Absolutely none of them go to school. Sustained.