Michael Jackson died yesterday, RIP 4 Real, which is when Twitter did what Twitter does worst: go completely crazy. Look, I understand that people want to get the word out there, but there’s something about Twitter’s implication that everyone is a newsmaker that is ridiculous. Everyone is not a newsmaker. No offense! By the time the third “tweet” (which, incidentally, I am an adult, and having to use the word “tweet” makes me angry because come on) about any particular news story shows up on your fweed, just trust that people are finding out about this stuff. Relax, Brian Williams. And then came the barrage of Twittered Michael Jackson jokes, because the internet is nothing if not the classiest lady of dignity and class.
All of this came just days after the Twitter eruption over Iran. I’m not talking about the actual Twitter eruption over Iran as conducted by Iranians. I’m talking about the Brooklyn co-option of the Twitter eruption over Iran. Of course, you can’t really say anything too mean about people changing the color of their avatar in support of a totally worthwhile cause, because even if it is completely meaningless, hearts are in the right places. But also haha. Really? It is going to be so hard for everyone to change their avatars back to normal while people are still dying, literally dying, over there. But people are going to change their avatars back because they like their avatars, and the green is getting boring to them.
So there were also lots of jokes about that on Twitter last night, too, about how Iran must be so mad that Michael Jackson’s death has taken over the one democratic means of overt dissent. Or about how quickly people threw Iran into the garbage now that Michael Jackson died. You know, jokes. And anyway, all of this is just to say that the ridiculousness of Twitter and this strange convergence of events was captured in this video perfectly: