Paris Hilton Wants Credit For Almost Having But Not Having Balls In Her Face (This Time)

By Gabe Delahaye / June 12, 2009

Paris Hilton, a paragon of class, taste, and good decision making skills, has confirmed that she was the original target for the Eminem-Bruno prank at the MTV Movie Awards but she politely declined, because of how she’s a lady. From 50Cent.livejournal.com:

Paris Hilton has confirmed she was the first target for Sacha Baron Cohen’s bare bum at the MTV Movie Awards last month, but she refused to be a part of a ceremony skit when she “got wind” of what was planned.

She tells “Extra,” “(Awards show producer) Mark Burnett asked if I wanted to be involved in something that was going to be crazy and, like, a fight might break out. I was like, ‘I don’t want anything hitting me in the face or anything like that, so I don’t know if I want to do that.’

“I’m glad I didn’t do that. I love him (Cohen) and think he’s hilarious, but I don’t know what my parents would think with that (Cohen’s bare bum) in my face in the middle of an awards show.”

Oh this is so complicated that it makes my brain hurt. Because basically Paris Hilton is trying to get some credit for the Eminem-Bruno thing? That she didn’t play any part in? She’s honored to have been approached first even though no one knew that, and it’s not as if anyone would have cared, or does care, and obviously she’s only turning it into a thing now because of how much publicity the stunt got? But also she’s trying to show off that she didn’t do it? Like somehow we’re supposed to think she has dignity now? But not enough dignity to not dig around in someone’s diaper for a little bit of that sweet, sweet attention? And also this is where she starts to worry about what her parents think?

In any case, the important thing is that at least we are talking about this! It’s called news, and you have to know it.