The Most Okay Five Word Speeches From Last Night’s Webby Awards

By Lindsay Robertson / June 9, 2009

Last night The Webby’s happened. The Webbys are the awards for the best sites on the web that have to run everything they post through a team of lawyers first. And who pay the hefty entry fee to nominate themselves. Which is totally not to take away from everything Seth McFarlane has done this year to change the internet forever, I’m just sayin’ that’s why none of these speeches were given by, say, the Everything Is Terrible guys. Anyway, I happen to enjoy a lot of the characters who won Webbys (like The Onion and Sarah Silverman) and the world wide web does need to have some sites with standards and practices, probably, and anything Cameron Diaz can do to lend glitz and glitter to the internet is a rising tide that raises all boats, right? Winners are limited to speeches of just five words, and I watched them ALL, even the Chase one (“Chase what matters. Chase iPhone.” What?) and here are the best.

First, it’s important to note that they were all kind of nerdy and awkward. Now, in no particular order:

Sarah Silverman, presumably poking a little fun at herself (note that she won her Webby for “The Great Schlep,” that video where she urged you to get your Jewish parents to vote for Obama):

Trent Reznor wasn’t terrible:

Kayak.com, but only because this guy cheated:

FAIL Blog. It’s supposed to be a FAIL right? Then it’s funny:

Jimmy Fallon can be self-deprecating even when (web guru) Cameron Diaz is cheering behind him:

And The Onion News Network, for the actual win:

The festival of awkwardness (seriously, painful) can be found here. All 25,000 of them. Go, lawyers!