That’s Your Lawyer: Berger And Green

Your honor, as you can see from video Exhibit A, my client, a tax-paying father of two, was simply minding his own business when his car was cruelly THROWN 100 FEET IN THE AIR, AND ALSO ON FIRE. Now, you’re going to hear the defense use a lot of fancy words today, like “professional stunt” and “insane explosion” and “dangerous recklessness” but I’m not here to take you to Dictionary School. Instead I want you to think about my client, a law-abiding, humble man who just happened to be wearing a flame retardant jump suit and a fiberglass racing helmet lined with fireproof Nomex® fabric. Your honor, do we really want to live in a country where a man traveling home to see his children after a long day at the office can’t hit a ramp at 170 miles per hour in a customized sedan with rollbars installed and a break-out windshield? That’s not what America means to me, and I hope for the future of our great nation that you feel the same. I rest my case. (Via HolyTaco.)