The Real Housewives Of New York: Reunion, Pt. 2

For all that talk of how Bravo couldn’t fit it all into one episode, it really seems like they could have fit it all into one episode. At one point, as they cut to commercial, Andy “I Drink Alone A Lot Lately” Cohen says that he has a headache. You have a headache, Andy “Sometimes Life Doesn’t Work Out The Way You (Or Anyone) Would Want It” Cohen? You do? Please, by all means, TAKE A BREAK. This show was completely unnecessary. If I wanted to spend another hour being reminded that these women all basically hate each other, but not as much as they love the attention that hating each other offers, I would have organized an hour-long pseudo-celebrity dick measuring contest in Beatrice Amblard atelier “for charity.”

There was, of course, one thing that made it all (almost) worth it.

Kelly Kill-ME-en Bensimon. This woman could give long winded, half-literate, completely incomprehensible, self-involved answers to questions about the phonebook and I would enjoy it.

You heard the lady, just shoot her. Just shoot her.

Will someone please make me an insular t-shirt that says “Cartwheels Have No Price” on it? It’s semantics, you guys. (Semantics means “great idea for a t-shirt,” right?)