Thankfully, The Economic Crisis Has Spared The FEARnet DVR Description Copywriter

By Gabe Delahaye / May 14, 2009

Everyone has been affected by the economic crisis in some way*. People have watched their 401ks disappear. Homes been had foreclosed. And everyone knows someone who has been laid off. But at least the American hero at FEARnet who writes some of the sickest DVR menu descriptions in the game, is still hard at work. Which makes sense, dude is irreplaceable. You could not have another him in a second. Of course, times is tough, and these days he probably just feels lucky to have a job. If only he realized that his important work is touching tens, literally tens of people. That’s right, Videogum has upwards of 30 readers. Jealous?

After the jump, the genius FEARnet DVR description copywriter’s latest masterpieces.

Man, this guy is the best. He’s basically the Spalding Gray of DVR descriptions minus the suicide part. Just a natural storyteller. John Mahoney knows.

Today I want to rap to you guys about safe sex.

Give him the keys, John.

[APPLAUSE]

Previously: Whoever Writes The DVR Descriptions For FEARnet Is A Straight Genius, Son

*I’m a genius, and basically an economic theorist and social psychologist. Everything I say is incredibly smart and interesting and not boring and trite at all.